Linus: This is where my extension cord used to be (points to belly button).
Linus walks out in karate uniform with no shirt underneath
Me: Where's your shirt?
Linus: I'm becoming a man now.
Linus: Do all old people wear glasses?
Me: No, but many do.
Eileen: If you get boobs do you have to wear glasses?
Eileen: (mad and screaming) You are a mean mommy! You messed up my day. No laundry for you! NO LAUNDRY FOR MAMA!!!!
Yes. That's right. Not getting to do the laundry is a punishment according to Eileen. It's so hard not to laugh when she gets really mad.
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