Eileen: I will go for a run in my new running shoes. I will run and catch Linus.
Me: Wow. How will you catch him?
Eileen: I will say red light.
Eileen: Daddy is that your shave stuff? (feeling Dave's scratchy morning face)
Linus: I have an idea for Halloween. Lets be space. I'll be an astronaut. The baby will be an alien. Eileen, you can be a planet.
Linus: Mommy I have an idea. You can give the baby my name and then you can rename me Calvin. (He loves Calvin and Hobbes)
Eileen: (while at the grocery store) Can we get something yummy for me to eat like salad?
Wednesday, August 28, 2013
Wednesday, August 21, 2013
34 Weeks
As of yesterday I am 34 weeks pregnant. I am relieved to have made it this far. We survived a subchorionic hemorrhage and preterm labor. I definitely feel very pregnant. I am uncomfortable and exhausted. The good news is I appear to be healthy.
At my check up today I had a nice low blood pressure, the baby was growing right on schedule, and his heart rate sounded good. I've gained 26 pounds thus far. I am right on track. Great right? The appointment was going swimmingly and then my doctor dropped a bombshell on me. My doctor was gone for a two week vacation in July. No big deal. What he neglected to tell me until today is that he is actually going on another two week vacation starting about two weeks before my due date, returning one day before. He will be in France. Not just another city or state or country, another continent!!
I am none too pleased. He tried to make it seem like it wasn't that big a deal. My two previous babies were born 11 days late and 4 days late respectively. I feel like I am in my own little version of "Knocked Up." I take choosing doctors very seriously. My ob is also my regular doctor and the kids' doctor. I chose someone who I felt would support my birth choices. Birth is a very intimate and personal experience. I don't want to suddenly have to build a relationship with someone the last two weeks of my pregnancy, or worse, have someone I have never met deliver my baby.
After my appointment, I made it back to my car before bursting into tears. During the drive home, I stopped by the french bakery and consumed multiple pastries.
I am so mad/frustrated right now and feeling a bit betrayed. This pregnancy has been so stressful and not just due to health scares. I have been just barely holding on at times. Right now our home is not even ready for the baby. One of things that has been getting me through is knowing that no mattered what happened, I had my birth team in place. A carefully selected group of people who would be there to support the baby and me. With that up in the air, I'm kind of crumbling.
Anyone who tries to tell me that everything is going to work out, that no matter what happens things will be fine, God's plan, etc, runs the risk of bodily harm right now. This pregnant lady has earned the right to be upset.
I don't think any woman has prayed as hard as I am right now that a baby comes late. I am pretty sure my doctor won't do a non-medically necessary cerclage so it is time to do some research on how to delay the onset of labor.
 |
| I don't tend to do a lot of selfies. |
I am none too pleased. He tried to make it seem like it wasn't that big a deal. My two previous babies were born 11 days late and 4 days late respectively. I feel like I am in my own little version of "Knocked Up." I take choosing doctors very seriously. My ob is also my regular doctor and the kids' doctor. I chose someone who I felt would support my birth choices. Birth is a very intimate and personal experience. I don't want to suddenly have to build a relationship with someone the last two weeks of my pregnancy, or worse, have someone I have never met deliver my baby.
After my appointment, I made it back to my car before bursting into tears. During the drive home, I stopped by the french bakery and consumed multiple pastries.
I am so mad/frustrated right now and feeling a bit betrayed. This pregnancy has been so stressful and not just due to health scares. I have been just barely holding on at times. Right now our home is not even ready for the baby. One of things that has been getting me through is knowing that no mattered what happened, I had my birth team in place. A carefully selected group of people who would be there to support the baby and me. With that up in the air, I'm kind of crumbling.
Anyone who tries to tell me that everything is going to work out, that no matter what happens things will be fine, God's plan, etc, runs the risk of bodily harm right now. This pregnant lady has earned the right to be upset.
I don't think any woman has prayed as hard as I am right now that a baby comes late. I am pretty sure my doctor won't do a non-medically necessary cerclage so it is time to do some research on how to delay the onset of labor.
Friday, August 16, 2013
Reining in a Tyrant
Disclaimer: I love my son. I adore my son. I think he is creative, funny, smart, witty, beautiful, loving.
That said my son is also incredibly stubborn, demanding, and ornery. He is slowly morphing into a mini-tyrant.
Over the past few months, Linus has become increasingly exhausting/frustrating to be around. There have been a lot of changes in our house and I know it's been hard on him. Sometimes in the midst of a fit, you can see him trying so hard to gain control of himself and unable to do it. However, his behavior has been getting more and more out of hand and we need to get a handle on it before the new baby comes, and a whole new set of chaos enters the house. As a former middle school teacher, I also have lots of fears about who I don't want my children to become. I need to nip his behavior in the bud now.
After a particular episode about two weeks ago involving mud, I sat down and wrote out a list of all the behaviors and occurrences I don't like:
talking back/growling
too much screen time
mud/excessive digging
speaking harshly to Eileen
hitting/pushing
tantrums
sense of entitlement
reading non-quality books
television--too much junk, not enough educational/tame shows
too much playing with neighbors
We often don't leave the house anymore because Linus refuses to cooperate. Everything has to be on his terms. Some of these might seem like easy fixes that are totally within my control. It's one of those things where due to pregnancy exhaustion tv time increased, he learned to play video games on the phone, and he figured out how to use a remote. Dave and I didn't communicate enough about what I wanted/didn't want him watching.
I then made a list of what I wanted to see: fewer tantrums, respectful speaking, gentle hands, following backyard rules, playing with Eileen and willing to leave the house for activities, reading a combination of quality books and less quality, hard limit on screen time with more educational shows, compromise with less of the family bowing to Linus' desires, politeness and manners, listening and stopping the first time asked, and buckling himself in his carseat 100% of the time.
Making the list was very clarifying. I read the book How to Have a New Kid by Friday by Dr. Kevin Leman for some concrete ideas. The book was helpful, especially his take on tantrums and talking back. He also provides some very helpful insights for preteens so I'll definitely keep this book for future battles. I disagreed with a few things, and his occasional Christian/religious stance that seemed to dismiss other religious/nonreligious beliefs. He and his editors also seemed unaware of sexist comments or inferences. I'm not a feminist by any means but they stood out to me. Despite my annoyance with those parts, the book outlines clear, no nonsense tactics for all sorts of different issues.
Game Plan
We now have a game plan. It will need some fine tuning but already we are seeing some positive changes. I don't think what we are doing would work for everyone, but as a parent I am always interested to see what other people are doing.
First thing we did was give Linus some quality one on one time with each one of us. With so many changes, he has just needed some special time with us.
Consequences: time outs, loss of dirt play, loss of playtime with neighbors, loss of screen time, loss of toys.
Rewards: screen time, staying up a little late, special treat (sweet, stickers from Michaels, etc)
The big game changer is how we are approaching screen time. The hard part is it requires more of me, but it's worth it. We are setting a hard limit of 2 hours. He can earn screen time in 30 minute increments.
--complete 4-6 pages of his workbook (he hates practicing his letters but is also frustrated he can't write or spell yet
--quality play with Eileen for 20 minutes
--reading with an adult (either practice learning to read or reading quality books)
--completing his list of responsibilities. He has a new chore/responsibility list of 5 things since he is almost 5. Each morning he must: get himself dressed, brush his teeth, make his bed, clean up his room, and sweep/dust bust under the dining room table after breakfast.
Having these 4 requirements, each worth 30 minutes, has made huge difference. It's altered the power struggle and given me more of what I want. He also isn't just watching tv/playing video games for huge blocks of time. It gets broken up as he is willing to complete requirements. It's amazing how much being a monster correlates to screen time.
Another thing we are adding an allowance. Linus seems to think we need to buy him stuff all the time. Allowance will give him a better sense of money, but also let him feel in control. We are giving him 50 cents per year/per week, so he gets $2 a week right now. It's enough that he will eventually be able to save and buy the things that he wants and it won't take him years to do it. I envision his money mostly getting spent on Legos, but it will be his allowance that buys the snacks at the movies and stuff like that. Once he gets the hang of it, we will introduce saving 10% each week. I'm sure allowance will change as he gets older. Linus is pretty excited about the allowance.
Finally, Dave and I just need to be better about not giving extra chances for misbehavior, not allowing him to talk back to us, and not letting him be the one to dictate terms. I know that having the school year routine and adding back an extra curricular activity is also going to be helpful even with the introduction of a new baby.
That said my son is also incredibly stubborn, demanding, and ornery. He is slowly morphing into a mini-tyrant.
Over the past few months, Linus has become increasingly exhausting/frustrating to be around. There have been a lot of changes in our house and I know it's been hard on him. Sometimes in the midst of a fit, you can see him trying so hard to gain control of himself and unable to do it. However, his behavior has been getting more and more out of hand and we need to get a handle on it before the new baby comes, and a whole new set of chaos enters the house. As a former middle school teacher, I also have lots of fears about who I don't want my children to become. I need to nip his behavior in the bud now.
After a particular episode about two weeks ago involving mud, I sat down and wrote out a list of all the behaviors and occurrences I don't like:
talking back/growling
too much screen time
mud/excessive digging
speaking harshly to Eileen
hitting/pushing
tantrums
sense of entitlement
reading non-quality books
television--too much junk, not enough educational/tame shows
too much playing with neighbors
We often don't leave the house anymore because Linus refuses to cooperate. Everything has to be on his terms. Some of these might seem like easy fixes that are totally within my control. It's one of those things where due to pregnancy exhaustion tv time increased, he learned to play video games on the phone, and he figured out how to use a remote. Dave and I didn't communicate enough about what I wanted/didn't want him watching.
I then made a list of what I wanted to see: fewer tantrums, respectful speaking, gentle hands, following backyard rules, playing with Eileen and willing to leave the house for activities, reading a combination of quality books and less quality, hard limit on screen time with more educational shows, compromise with less of the family bowing to Linus' desires, politeness and manners, listening and stopping the first time asked, and buckling himself in his carseat 100% of the time.
Making the list was very clarifying. I read the book How to Have a New Kid by Friday by Dr. Kevin Leman for some concrete ideas. The book was helpful, especially his take on tantrums and talking back. He also provides some very helpful insights for preteens so I'll definitely keep this book for future battles. I disagreed with a few things, and his occasional Christian/religious stance that seemed to dismiss other religious/nonreligious beliefs. He and his editors also seemed unaware of sexist comments or inferences. I'm not a feminist by any means but they stood out to me. Despite my annoyance with those parts, the book outlines clear, no nonsense tactics for all sorts of different issues.
Game Plan
We now have a game plan. It will need some fine tuning but already we are seeing some positive changes. I don't think what we are doing would work for everyone, but as a parent I am always interested to see what other people are doing.
First thing we did was give Linus some quality one on one time with each one of us. With so many changes, he has just needed some special time with us.
Consequences: time outs, loss of dirt play, loss of playtime with neighbors, loss of screen time, loss of toys.
Rewards: screen time, staying up a little late, special treat (sweet, stickers from Michaels, etc)
The big game changer is how we are approaching screen time. The hard part is it requires more of me, but it's worth it. We are setting a hard limit of 2 hours. He can earn screen time in 30 minute increments.
--complete 4-6 pages of his workbook (he hates practicing his letters but is also frustrated he can't write or spell yet
--quality play with Eileen for 20 minutes
--reading with an adult (either practice learning to read or reading quality books)
--completing his list of responsibilities. He has a new chore/responsibility list of 5 things since he is almost 5. Each morning he must: get himself dressed, brush his teeth, make his bed, clean up his room, and sweep/dust bust under the dining room table after breakfast.
Having these 4 requirements, each worth 30 minutes, has made huge difference. It's altered the power struggle and given me more of what I want. He also isn't just watching tv/playing video games for huge blocks of time. It gets broken up as he is willing to complete requirements. It's amazing how much being a monster correlates to screen time.
Another thing we are adding an allowance. Linus seems to think we need to buy him stuff all the time. Allowance will give him a better sense of money, but also let him feel in control. We are giving him 50 cents per year/per week, so he gets $2 a week right now. It's enough that he will eventually be able to save and buy the things that he wants and it won't take him years to do it. I envision his money mostly getting spent on Legos, but it will be his allowance that buys the snacks at the movies and stuff like that. Once he gets the hang of it, we will introduce saving 10% each week. I'm sure allowance will change as he gets older. Linus is pretty excited about the allowance.
Finally, Dave and I just need to be better about not giving extra chances for misbehavior, not allowing him to talk back to us, and not letting him be the one to dictate terms. I know that having the school year routine and adding back an extra curricular activity is also going to be helpful even with the introduction of a new baby.
Wednesday, August 14, 2013
Seabrook
We just got back from our vacation at Seabrook. Since I'm very pregnant I decided it would be best if we stayed a little closer to home and had a slightly less adventurous vacation. I've had to explain to Linus multiple times that we don't get to go to Hawaii or San Diego every year. Luckily, the kids had such a good time they are already asking to go back to Seabrook next year.
It was an unexpectedly long trip to Seabrook. The 3 hour drive took us about 7.5 hours. This included decided to skip the horrible traffic along the I-5 corridor all the way to Olympia by taking the Bremerton ferry. This added time but reduced the sitting in traffic aspect of the trip. We stopped for ice cream in Belfair and then stopped again in Shelton for Linus to puke along the side of the road. There was dinner and grocery shopping in Aberdeen. It was such a relief to get to our beach house.
The weather for the first half of our vacation was about 15-20 degrees cooler than Seattle. Great for the pregnant lady, not so great for a sunny beach vacation. We took a walk along the trail to the beach to visit the Gnome Village.
Can you see the ocean? Isn't it beautiful and majestic? Our attempt at kite flying was a failure.
Our favorite activities were swimming at the indoor pool, playing at the beach, and riding bikes. We bought Eileen a little floaty and she was in heaven. I had no idea how good a swimmer Linus is as long as he has a snorkel. He could swim the length of the pool! The pool is pretty sweet. Indoors, relatively warm, and towels provided.
Our neighborhood is not ideal for riding bikes. It was wonderful having so much space for the kids to safely ride. Linus refused to try the bike with training wheels, but Eileen was more than happy to give it a whirl.
Eventually, the sun did come out and we could see the ocean. Linus loved having free reign to dig holes. The ocean misted over the sand.
After our first day at the beach, I found that my body couldn't handle the walk plus all the stairs. Dave was kind enough to take the kids each afternoon while I laid on the couch and read books.
We spent one morning in Ocean Shores. As a kid, I always pictured Oceans Shores to be this magical place. In reality, it looks more like a slightly depressed beach town. We had a great time though at the Pacific Paradise Family Fun Center.
We spent lots of quality time in the beach house.
The kids didn't take a bath until our last night--they had the ocean and swimming to get them clean.
It was really great to get away for a little bit. The house came with the most amazing couch. Dave and I fell in love with it. I don't know if we could make it work in our living room, but oh my God that couch was wonderful--could easily fit all four of us, two people could lie down, deep cushions, super comfy. The drive home was significantly faster. Linus puked again. We were ready and he had a bucket. We are now working under the theory that his body can no longer handle the combination of dairy and riding in cars. He had several other puking incidents the other weekend with Dave, driving to and from their camping trip. Now that vacation is over, it's time to look ahead to getting the kids ready for the school year to start and really getting ready for the baby to come.
It was an unexpectedly long trip to Seabrook. The 3 hour drive took us about 7.5 hours. This included decided to skip the horrible traffic along the I-5 corridor all the way to Olympia by taking the Bremerton ferry. This added time but reduced the sitting in traffic aspect of the trip. We stopped for ice cream in Belfair and then stopped again in Shelton for Linus to puke along the side of the road. There was dinner and grocery shopping in Aberdeen. It was such a relief to get to our beach house.
The weather for the first half of our vacation was about 15-20 degrees cooler than Seattle. Great for the pregnant lady, not so great for a sunny beach vacation. We took a walk along the trail to the beach to visit the Gnome Village.
 |
| Evil gnome |
Our neighborhood is not ideal for riding bikes. It was wonderful having so much space for the kids to safely ride. Linus refused to try the bike with training wheels, but Eileen was more than happy to give it a whirl.
 |
| Dave managed to eventually get a kite in the air for a moment. |
 |
| Peaceful sand castle or the gates of Mordor? |
We spent one morning in Ocean Shores. As a kid, I always pictured Oceans Shores to be this magical place. In reality, it looks more like a slightly depressed beach town. We had a great time though at the Pacific Paradise Family Fun Center.
 |
| Linus channeled Happy Gilmore and took more of a hockey approach to golf. |
 |
| Eileen "won" every hole by dropping the ball in. Dave got lots of holes in one by banking the ball off Linus' shoe and letting him kick the ball in the hole. |
 |
| Eileen loved mini golf. |
 |
| playing games |
 |
| hiding in secret forts |
 |
| Beading. Eileen became a pretty good little beader at family camp. |
 |
| beauty after bath |
Subscribe to:
Posts (Atom)