The Scraggle

Eileen is one of the most beautiful humans I have ever met, inside and out.  I love her furiously, even when she is driving me nuts.  I used to be able to exert my will on her a little -- select her outfits, style her hair.

Eileen is now her own woman.  I may buy the clothes, but she selects her own outfits.  Why wear a cute outfit when you can wear an old camper t-shirt (or better yet--old tye dye!) and sweat pants paired carefully with bulky socks and striped Toms for shoes.   I let her be herself.  I lovingly refer to her look as "slightly feral." She is required to wear a uniform to school so I try to let her choose how she dresses in her free time.  I just ask it to be weather appropriate.

Hair is a completely different issue.  Eileen has thin, dark blonde hair.  It has an inability to be pulled straight back.  If you do, it splits into sections, creating rows of hairs standing erect.  It begins to tangle almost immediately after brushing.  

Last year I discovered the magic of the Wet Brush.  It easily works its way through tangles and doesn't leave a heavy residue like de-tangler.  When she was younger, I used to pull the top of her hair back and to the side.  We called this "Eileen" hair.  It worked well.  She frequently wore her hair in two ponytails and would sometimes let me even braid her hair.  Eileen has elicited stares and gasps when she wears her hair in braids.  She looks that stunning.

Eileen could care less about winning admiration for her hair.  These days I have to beg her to let me put her hair in a simple low ponytail.  When she does let me, it lasts less than an hour.  Once free of its elastic prison, her hair quickly looks like this.

I call it, "The Scraggle."

The Scraggle frustrates me to no end.  Last year a teacher asked Eileen, and not in a joking manner, if she had forgotten to brush her hair that morning!  I wasn't mad.  I felt validated!

I keep wondering if Eileen's hair will thicken when she turns twelve like mine did.  School begins in one week.  My hope is that Eileen will decide that this year she would like to pull her hair back, even just partially.  I'm pretty sure this is pay back for my youth.  In third grade I remember fighting my parents about my hair on picture day.  They made me wear a barrette.  I was scared of the consequences if I took it out.  The barrette didn't look good and I have a weird smile on my face.  But I suppose the point was that you could see my face.

My plan right now is to perform subtle acts of subterfuge. Eileen does a pretty good job using a brush.  These are my next steps.

1. I'm going to help her learn to use an elastic hairband to pull back hair.  She owns plenty. 
2. I own a book of different braid hairstyles.  I will leave it lying on the coffee table next to her favorite chair.  
3. Then I'll suggest we practice braiding yarn.  I learned to braid in girl scouts.  We braided strands of yarn and stuck cinnamon sticks and cloth packets of cloves in the yarn.  
4. Then, "Hey, wouldn't it be fun to practice braiding each other's hair?"

It will be mother-daughter bonding at its finest!  I'm optimistic, but also realistic.  I know that The Scraggle is going to stick around for a while longer.  I love my slightly feral daughter.  She is a creative, free spirit. She has no interest in boys, drama, or princesses. She likes graphic novels, crafting, art, swimming, and cats.  Someday I may even miss The Scraggle.  Someday, but not today.