My sweet baby Eileen turned three yesterday. I marvel at how much she has changed over the past year.
To know Eileen is to love Eileen. She is a bundle of sweetness. Eileen loves to be close to people, especially to hold their hands. She is a snuggler. Eileen is generally very go with the flow and doesn't rattle easily. She even managed to charm and impress the ENT doctor (a woman whose nickname could easily be the Ice Queen). She only asks that she get to be included. Eileen loves to be around other little girls, which sadly doesn't happen often enough. She is the only girl in her preschool class. If you can't find her, just look and she's probably sitting quietly in the corner playing quietly by herself. She loves going to school and doing "big girl" things. Eileen is excited about life.
Eileen adores Linus. She copies him constantly--whatever he says, she says; if he asks to run down the hill, she immediately asks the same; if he does a funny walk, she mirrors him. Linus does not appreciate his number one fan. If Linus throws a fit because no one will go with him, Eileen will offer. Eileen is always willing to give Linus part of a treat without a second thought.
At three years old, Eileen's favorite activities include: reading, Dora, Diego, puzzles, princesses, playing house, baking, coffee and nail dates, duplo legos, playing with her cousins and second cousins.
Eileen is not a big fan of time out, nightmares about slugs in her hair (a recurring dream), being told no, becoming untucked in bed, and naptime.
It only took three weeks for Eileen to warm up to Robin. When he cries, she comforts him by clicking her tongue (it seems to work usually).
getting ready for nap
Eileen was so excited for her birthday. Her body was bursting with excitement. Throughout the day she couldn't help but exclaim, "It's my birthday!!"
3 years old!
In the morning we celebrated by going to Playdate SEA (it was also to celebrate Linus since we had gymnastics his birthday morning). There was lunch at Dick's. During naptime, I hung streamers and decorated her cake. She asked for a rainbow ninja cake.
lots of ninjas
Dinner was Kraft mac n cheese and cucumber sticks. Very fancy. We had to wait for Dave to come home to open presents and truly celebrate.
Dave and I gave her the mermaid legos she had been asking for and this fairy thing that comes with fabric that you use to create different outfits. Grandma and Grandpa gave her a mixer and cash register. Our friend Heather sent her dolls with magnetic outfits. Despite declaring that boy toys are better than girl toys, and you would have to pay him to play with girl toys, Linus kept trying to get Eileen to let him play with her new toys. He almost stopped when I reminded him they were "girl" toys.
Getting a picture with the kids is never easy.
Linus complimented me on my scarf. He said it reminded him of Minecraft?
It has been just over a month since little Robin joined our family. Everyone asks me how it's going. My answer--alright. I have discovered a new level exhaustion resulting from constantly caring for a newborn while trying to meet the needs of two preschoolers. It's amazing how you can forget how hard it is to be woken about every two hours during the night for 10 minute stretches. I can easily understand how sleep deprivation is a form of torture.
My least favorite part of the day is preschool pick up. It requires waking Eileen up from her nap. While she benefits from a 2-3 hour nap every day, Linus' pick up and drop off schedule leaves her getting only somewhere between 1 and 1.5 hours. The result is an often overtired Eileen and a fried mama. My one real complaint about Linus' preschool is the lack of parking. Parents are required to park in the neighborhood and walk. This means I have to adjust timing to allow for walking 2-3 blocks to the school once we park. The effort that it takes to get out of the house and to and from school is at times overwhelming. It is often in the moments after returning home from taking Linus to school and getting Eileen down for nap that I just want to collapse.
Preschool griping and lack of sleep aside, life with a newborn is pretty wonderful. Robin is a very good little baby who loves his mama best. Since I'm pretty sure this is our last baby I have been trying to soak in every little moment. Weekend afternoons are lovely. Robin and I snuggle up together and take a nap.
People tell me I look good. I am so happy to not be pregnant and to have my healthy little baby, I know I am often glowing. I am also practically mainlining coffee, so maybe it's just the sheen from a dark roast. Blissful babies and strong coffee, how can you not look alive and well? I also went to the chiropractor a few days ago which was immensely helpful. So I guess overall, when I am not ready to collapse in a puddle on the floor and cry from exhaustion and the constant meeting of needs, I am overwhelmed by feelings of joy, happiness, and caffeine.
overwhelmed with joy or overtired? not sure but the baby is very cute
Today while Eileen was at preschool, I took Robin and Linus in for well child checks.
Robin is doing great. He is now 20.5 inches long (7%) and 9 lbs 1 oz (23%). He has been battling a nasty case of baby acne but the doctor assures me that baby acne is not an indicator of his future adolescent acne. He got the Hep B shot from which he quickly recovered and then slept the rest of the day.
Linus got 2 shots (MMR and Polio) and the FluMist vaccine. I had to pull him out of hiding from behind the exam table and then hold him down during shots. Linus did not recover as quickly as Robin and quickly informed me that I was terrible, a mean mommy, and the worst mommy he ever had. I responded with hugs and a simple, "I know." We then got milkshakes at Dick's and things were mostly all forgiven.
Three kids is definitely a handful, but at least it feels like we kind of know what we are doing. It's too bad you have to learn everything the hard way the first time around.
I also wish someone had told us earlier that if you wanted the kids to be quiet and leave you alone, just put them inside storage benches.
Halloween is a favorite holiday in our house. The past few years we have celebrated 31 days of Halloween. However, this mama felt that welcoming a new baby and having 3 birthdays during the month was celebration enough. We still did a few crafts, decorated the house up right, ready Halloween books, etc. It was just not something every day.
The whole having a baby thing also meant I did not really feel like thinking about costumes. Next year I will try being more creative. Luckily, Eileen decided she wanted to be a pink princess. Great. We already had the costume. Linus wanted to be an astronaut. I found a cheap deal on Ebay for the same one sold by Pottery Barn Kids. As a little brother present, Robin gave each kid a hat to compliment their costumes.
Fast forward to this morning. Eileen decided she would rather be a ninja at preschool than a pink princess (she is apparently a ninja by morning and a princess by night). Considering she is the only girl in her class, this may have been a wise decision. We ran into our neighbor on the way out the door. She invited us over after school to have the kids' faces painted (she has a face painting business on the side -- Cookie's Facepainting).
Since it wasn't raining I agreed to take the kids trick or treating in Ballard. It was my super mom moment for the day. There was a bit of compromise regarding costume choices. Linus wanted zombie face paint. I wanted him to wear his astronaut costume. The end result was zombie astronaut with no helmet. Oy.
zombie astronaut
pink princess
showing off her face painted crown
every princess needs a dragon
Trick or treating was actually okay except for when Robin decided he needed to eat. It's Dave's job to take the kids around the neighborhood. Tomorrow the kids will sell most of their candy to the dentist. Of course I will first peruse their haul and pull out all the good stuff. I have my eye on some reeses pieces.
Today Linus turned five. Dave and I are both in a bit of shock. Five seems so old. Linus is very excited to be five.
Linus, Pre-K
Linus at Five:
Loves Star Wars. He is mildly obsessed. I have learned more about Star Wars than I ever planned to. He can readily identify different kinds of clone troopers based on their helmets. He likes to stand on his head and pretend to use the force like Luke does while training with Yoda. His art mainly revolves around depictions of Star Wars.
A recent pic--alien bounty hunter and R2D2. Linus can also draw a pretty good Boba Fett but I couldn't find that picture to post.
Linus also loves Legos, math, science, bug hunting, weapons, reading, peanut butter and jelly sandwiches, dessert, and Calvin and Hobbes. He still likes super heroes, but not nearly as much as Star Wars.
He dislikes Eileen touching his stuff, looking at him, copying him, or coming in his room. He also dislikes being told no or not getting his own way.
I love Linus for all his stubbornness and grumpy moods. His maddening behaviors make me a better mom and keep me humble. I also love Linus for his thoughtfulness, snuggles, creativity, and sense of adventure.
We pretty much treated today like a regular day. I swear he will get a birthday party one of these years. While he was away at school, I decorated in a Lego Star Wars theme. He was super excited when he came home and saw it. Dinner was Kraft mac n' cheese by request. We found Halloween ones which made it extra special. Apparently, the library heard it was his birthday and the video of Star Wars: Attack of the Clones finally came in (I reserved it a while ago).
It was a Star Wars Lego kind of birthday. FYI, Eileen is only pretending to pick her nose. Stinker.
Linus learned about ice cream cakes and requested one. There are no Dairy Queens in the city of Seattle and the nearest Baskin and Robbin closed. We had to go with Ben and Jerry's. I "suffered" through eating a cookie dough, brownie, and cookies and cream cake.
Eileen is patiently waiting for her birthday in two weeks.
Explaining we need to also sing the "May the dear Lord bless you" verse.
Yesterday was my birthday. As a kid I loved having a fall birthday (still do)--the crisp fall air, bright colored leaves, smells of pumpkin, apples, and cinnamon. It made it all seem special. Every year I looked forward to the cool new outfit I knew my grandparents would be sending in the mail. I fantasized about what presents I might receive and always ran home quickly after school so as to take in the freshly baked cake smell that would be wafting through the house. Ahh childhood.
As an adult my fantasy gift is no longer a new game for my 8 bit Nintendo. I dream about sleep and zero responsibility. I am happy to report that I received both this year. The night before my parents came up, watched the kids while I napped, and cooked me one of my favorite dinners from childhood. On my birthday morning Robin and I slept in while Dave and the kids went and got me a latte and pumpkin bread. I sipped my latte in bed and read a book. Several hours later I slowly emerged from the bedroom.
We are friends with Linus' former preschool teacher, Tricia. Tricia and her family (they are an amazing family) have a big apple day every year where they make apple cider. This sounded like a lovely way to spend the late morning.
The cider we made is very yummy.
We returned home where naps were had. I rested blissfully on the couch, snuggling Robin, watching a movie. I did eventually fall asleep.
Robin finds having his lovey on his head very calming.
Linus made sure I was properly celebrated and had Dave buy balloons to decorate the whole house and a beautiful bouquet of flowers. I apparently also really needed a small Seattle snow globe. Linus also gave me another amazing gift. I was dreading going to the pumpkin patch this year. I just did not want to do it--lack of energy, mud, a teeny tiny baby. It did not sound like fun. Unprompted, Linus suggested we just buy pumpkins at the store this year instead of going to the pumpkin patch. YESSS!!!!
It's amazing how much your expectations and desires change as an adult where the greatest gift you can receive is being told you can take a nap or you hope beyond hope that Santa brings you new socks and underwear. My birthday was just what I needed--lots of rest, snuggles, and yumminess. Maybe next year (when I am not two weeks post partum) I will feel like doing something bigger. In the meantime I believe there is leftover cake calling me from the refrigerator.
First of all I would like to say that breastfeeding is the absolute hardest thing I ever learned to do. It was harder than learning to read, doing long division with double and triple digit divisors, and simplifying polynomials combined. If you have never had the experience of breastfeeding, I hope that gives you some idea of just how tear inducing and frustrating learning to breastfeed successfully can be. Yes, women have been doing it for thousands of years and women's bodies were designed to feed babies, but dammit it is not an intuitive process.
I remember the first time I attempted to breastfeed Linus shortly after his birth. The nurse was there and I was like, "Um, okay. What do I do?" The nurse made it look easy. Of course, you take your baby home, you are by yourself, and suddenly it all seems impossible. The baby won't latch. If he does, all you want to do is scream every four letter word you know because of the pain. Then your nipples crack and bleed. You suddenly become skittish around your baby and dread the moment he starts to bob his head against you, indicating he would like another attempt at torturing you. Does this sound familiar to anyone? And lets remember, this creature does not even have teeth yet. Linus was advanced in this department and drew blood when he got his first tooth at two months. You quickly learn to identify the look in your baby's eyes that signals a bite is coming.
Lots of women struggle to produce enough milk to feed their babies and wrestle with the guilt of formula supplementation. Luckily, there are support groups for breastfeeding. After my first time at a breastfeeding support group, I quickly realized I could never go again. As much as I appreciated help from the lactation consultant and the camaraderie of women, I could not handle my guilty feelings nor the evil eyes cast my way. You see I am "blessed" with a different problem. I overproduce milk, and not just a little. My record is 9 ounces from one breast (most women might struggle to achieve this between feeding off of both). Yeah, "lucky you" you might think until the reality sets in. Think massively engorged breasts that burn constantly with pain. I look like someone let a 14-year old boy loose on photoshop. Breasts that prevent you from moving or sitting up due to pain, that leak constantly. Each time your milk lets down, hot searing burning pain rushes down your chest. And then because your baby with a stomach the size of a marble cannot possibly consume that much milk, you are left full and know that you won't get to feed off that breast for at least 4 hours, and maybe even 6 or more. As your milk lets down, your baby gags and chokes due to the shear force. You can't pump because that only tells your body to make more milk. Instead you sit, crying in pain, and watch the clock (because you can't look at or think about your baby or your milk will let down) with your nursing bra stuffed full of cabbages leaves. This is my life.
But this post is not meant to complain, but inform. Over the course of three babies I have learned a lot about breastfeeding. First I wanted to mention the brand new Lytle Center for Pregnancy and Newborns at Swedish Hospital. This is a great community resource for new moms and babies. I spent quite a bit of time with a lactation consultant when breastfeeding Linus. I learned a lot about reducing supply. If you are like me, here are a few things to try:
Block feeding schedule (not always recommended). Basically, you put your breasts on a schedule and only nurse on one side for four hours no matter what. The downside to this method is that I found it resulted in a lot of blocked ducts.
Cabbage leaves on breasts--gently cools and soothes sore breasts and nipples while drawing out milk. Warning: do not go out in public with cabbage on breasts. Cabbage leaves are a poor replacement for nursing pads.
I mentioned previously that Eileen was tongue tied. To have her tongue clipped, I was referred to Dr. Mary Ann O'Hara. I am lucky to live in a city that has a doctor who specializes in breastfeeding issues. When I suspected that Robin was tongue tied the lactation consultant at the hospital made sure I left the hospital with an appointment to see Dr. O'Hara. Dr. O'Hara found that not only was Robin tongue-tied but seemed to be suffering the residual effects of having a cord wrapped around his neck. His jaw and facial muscles were all very tight. She scheduled an appointment with us again for a few days later to check his clipping, do some massage work on Robin, and also address my oversupply issue.
My second appointment with her on Monday was a learning experience. It was 3 hours long. Robin loved his massage and it definitely helped with his nursing. Then it was my turn. Not only was I engorged and in excrutiating pain, but I noticed I seemed to be unable to pump effectively and one breast just seemed like it could barely empty. Dr. O'Hara found that I did not have a blocked duct, but rather blocked nipples. In case you were unaware, milk does not spray from one hole, but more like six. Four of mine were blocked. The doctor very gently did a massage and slowly unblocked me for which I am eternally grateful.
The doctor then referred me for physical therapy. Who knew right? Today Robin and I went to physical therapy for Lymphatic Drainage Massage. The thought is that some of the chronic blockage I experience is in part due to a build up of other fluid. In addition to a massage of the tissue surrounding the breast, ultrasound is used as well to direct an electrical current. It was kind of cool. Robin cooperated and slept the whole time. The physical therapist showed me how to massage my own breast to help flow. First, gently massage the way back of your breast, the part that's basically in your armpit. Then moving around the breast like spokes of a bicycle, gentle stroke backwards away from the nipple. She also advised that when hand expressing, to be sure to gently massage the breast versus trying to just do a hard squeeze because that can just make things worse. I get to go back for several more therapy appointments, but I am really excited about the prospect of having a more pleasant breastfeeding experience.
I am not a lactivist. Women need to do what they need to do to feed their babies and help them thrive. I merely want to inform and support. Another great resource for breastfeeding is kellymom.com. If you are at the mall and need to nurse, find a Nordstrom store. The women's bathroom has a separate nursing room. At U Village, Kids Club (the toy store/hair cut place) has a room in back with a rocking chair and toys for your toddler so you can nurse in privacy and not in a bathroom.
If you are new to the world of breastfeeding, I want to assure you that it does get easier. You learn to nurse without killing your back and neck, breastfeeding in the dark becomes less of an obstacle, nursing in public stops being a sweat inducing experience. At this point, I am finding that I can nurse in front of just about anybody and not care. It's a lot like that Luvs Diaper commercial.
