Wetland Winter Walk

Way back in the days before kids, marriage, or thinking about long term employment goals, I majored in Environmental Education.  Silly me.  Who cares about financial stability when you can work a series of low paying seasonal jobs with no health insurance?  Oh the things I would tell that college age girl.....  The upside is that I learned a lot of environmental science knowledge that I enjoy sharing with others.

Today was a non school day.  I didn't make plans for a playdate since it seems everyone and their mom has been wracked by illness and Robin's bronchiolitis turned into pneumonia.  But the morning was beautiful, the sun was shining, and Robin seemed to be doing alright.  Adventure beckoned.  I loaded up the the kiddos and we went to check out North Creek Park.  As soon as the kids heard the mention of nature walk, they grabbed their nature backpacks, checked their supplies, and practically ran out the door.

North Creek Park is located right on the Bothell/Mill Creek line.  It is a beautiful, quiet peat bog with a boardwalk complete with interpretive signs running through the wetland.  I was immediately thrust back to my days at Huxley College.

"We are sedges.   We live at the water's edges.  We help hold eroding ledges."

We saw lots of wood ducks.  Our greatest find was some frog jelly.  I had hoped we might spy the beavers who reside there.  Robin chirped away on my back as we walked along.  We did not end up completing the loop, but as we finished our walk we saw a red tailed hawk soaring right above us.

I nerded out on the walk a little, explaining the processes of a wetland.  I pointed out the different types of plants one finds in a wetland and taught them this neat little gem:

"Sedges have edges and rushes are round and grasses have segments that go all the way to the ground."

North Creek also boasts a really great playground.  Despite claims of being tired from walking, Eileen and Linus immediately found the energy to climb.  I had to drag them away.

Robin found the morning exhausting.

As soon as we got home the kids begged to go outside and play some more.  They dug up a treasure in the backyard they buried yesterday.  Linus then put on a puppet show for Eileen.  I love love love the days when Linus decides Eileen is better as a playmate then nemesis.

Eileen was focused on giving Robin lots of love.

I'm sure the afternoon will be less idyllic, but this morning fed my soul. 

Baby's First....

Is there anything so sweet as a baby's first?  A first smile, laugh, roll, or step.  Or chest x-ray.  Ah so sweet.  Robin is a sick baby once again.  As you may recall, Robin got sick just before MLK Day with an upper respiratory infection.  His rattly breathing never really went away and he caught a different cold two weeks later.

During his second cold, Robin saw an audiologist at Children's.  There we learned he had some hearing loss.  Robin has congestion in both ears that don't allow him to him to hear lower tones, even if they are loud like a fog horn.  I'm sure his cold wasn't helping things.  Robin has several more audiology tests in his future.  Rattly breathing continued.

Over the weekend, Robin started coughing and ran a low fever.  Today Robin was supposed to see the ENT.  They called this morning to cancel and reschedule.  This was probably a good thing because Robin woke up much sicker.  He coughed up breakfast.  Dave and I thought it best to take him in to the doctor.  The doctor was concerned as well and ordered a chest x-ray.  Robin did not like getting x-rays one bit.  He was pretty upset with me.  Considering Eileen had x-rays last Monday, I am worried a trend may be starting.

The good news is that Robin does not have pneumonia.  The bad news is he has bronchiolitis (he had this last winter as well).  The doctor didn't think we needed to take him to Children's just yet, but wants to see him again in two days.  Robin thanked me by throwing up on me.

sick and stoic

Just before Robin and I took off for the doctor, the phone rang.  Normally, I avoid all phone solicitations, but this one had a Seattle number and a person name.  Tricked!  It turns out it was WA CAN (Washington Citizen Action Network) and they were calling to ask for money to fund lobbying efforts for a single payer health care system.  They caught me on a good day.  Given how often we find ourselves at the doctor and how many services Robin needs, I am grateful that we have health insurance.  Of course we pay an arm and a leg for it every month.   At this rate we should meet our yearly deductible by the end of the month, if not sooner.  I can't help but think about all those people who don't have access to what we do.  I fully support a single payer system.  Everyone has a right to medical care.  Of course making this a reality isn't going to happen on the backs of a few noble volunteers.  I did not have to think twice about giving the man on the phone money.  It's a small way I can be an agent of the change I want to see in the world. 

Stepping off soapbox.....

In addition to health insurance, I am grateful that I do not hold down a full time job.  I do not know how I could possibly work regular hours given how often the kids get sick, all of Robin's appointments at Children's, and his weekly in-home therapy.  While I still question the wisdom of all the student loan debt, I am glad my degree allows me to be a substitute teacher and implement a very flexible work schedule. 

Stepping back on soapbox.....while we're at it.  Let's hear it for affordable childcare!  Off soapbox.

Robin visits the ENT next week.  Hopefully, he will be recovered from his most recent illness and not have acquired a new one.  Maybe then we can try for more positive baby firsts.  Baby's first trip to an exotic location has a nice ring to it.

Superbowl Drama

I admit I'm not much of a football fan.  When I was little I thought the announcers were talking about the "cutie," not the QB.  I don't feel either way about the Seahawks, although if pressed I would say that I like them.  This is better than my feelings towards the Mariners and all their fair weather fans.  Despite my ambivalence, I do own a Seahawks shirt (if only so I can participate in Blue Friday).

My dear friend, Heather, and her daughters, are in town visiting from Nebraska.  It's so nice to have her back.  We started our Superbowl Seahawk weekend with a trip to the nail salon.  I think I found my new nail salon.  A mani-pedi combo that includes hot stones and parafin treatment for $35? Yes, thank you.  Eileen got her nails done to show her Seahawk pride.  The ladies were so sweet and put football and 12 decals on each little tiny nail.

Our friends, Megan and Rocky, came over to watch the game with us.  I was more than willing to help out by holding their one week old infant (my god daughter), Melanie Ann.

So much perfection in one little face.

Heather's daughter, Brooklyn, and Eileen are good friends.  Brooklyn's daddy does not like the Seahawks at all, so she lacked proper Seahawk attire.  Instead I opted to put the girls in matching outfits, which they loved.
                  
Twinsies!

The kids ran around like crazy.  Linus delighted in chasing the girls and roaring at them.  During half time show Dave, Rocky, and Linus played some football in the backyard.

 You're going to have to run faster than that Rocky.

No weekend is complete without a little drama.  While the kids were running around the house, Linus ducked into the bathroom to escape the girls.  Eileen followed close behind.  Unfortunately, her little finger on her right hand got caught in the joint of the door as it closed.  Eileen screamed, we screamed for Linus to open the door,  Seahawks fans screamed on the tv.  It was chaos.  When the door opened and Eileen's hand was free, her finger was grossly mis-shapen and bleeding.  Eileen kept alternating between crying "Wah" and "I want it to blow back up."  Luckily, our friend Rocky is a nurse.  He quickly jumped into action and used frozen peas to ice her hand.  Eileen eventually calmed down and we got to watch the Seahawks blow the game at the one yard line.  Oh the humanity!

The girls randomly had the same jammies so it was twinsies once more for bed.

In the morning Eileen woke up with a raging case of pink eye.  While at the doctor, I figured I might as well have him look at the finger.  She was shaking with fear as they took off the bandaid.  Eileen got her wish and her finger did blow back up and then some.  It was huge!  The doctor was very worried it was broken and more so by the open wound and how angry the finger looked as a whole.  We were sent off to another location for xrays.  The good news is it isn't broken.  The bad news is she has three different antibiotic prescriptions and I get to contend with pink eye.

From the Mouths of Babes in January

Dave (to Linus):  You need to pray to God for the bravery to go upstairs by yourself.
Linus:  I prayed to God and he said, "No.  I'm sorry. I've run out of power."

Linus:  We need to clean up.
Eileen:  Okay.  Lets use our self talk.

Eileen:  (While watching the movie Hook)  Mommy, do those pirates sleep with one eye open?

Me:  Yeah, I have to go to the doctor so Grandma is going to pick you up.
Linus:  Why?
Me:  I need to get my cootie shot.
Linus:  There's a vaccination for that!?!

Robin:  la la la (as in "what do the three singing pigs say?")

Change of Plan Fun

Wednesday was a long day.  Instead of nap, Eileen, Robin, and I took my mom to the doctor.  It was 2 hours in a waiting room.  Oye.  We made it home in time to take Linus to karate.  Exhausted, Robin was not happy.  Just as karate class let out, Robin puked all over the YMCA hallway.  Got home, Robin had a temp of 101.8.  Of course Dave was working late.  Mama had a big glass of wine that night.

Thursday Robin seemed to be doing better although he had a strange green ooze coming out of his eye.  I prayed it wasn't a big deal since we were supposed to spend the weekend in Portland.  Friday Robin woke up with a fever and more gunk in his eyes.  By afternoon, he was really sick with a fever of over 103.  The upside is that sick babies are exceptionally snuggly.  Alarmed at his worsening condition, I called the doctor.  The doctor was worried it might be the flu and let me make an appointment for Saturday morning.  The trip to Portland was officially cancelled.

Saturday morning led to a diagnosis of pink eye and a viral infection that was not flu.  With a sigh of relief, I brought Robin home to nurse him back to health.  Dave found himself as Linus' playmate.  Sunday was more time with a sick baby.  In addition to nurse, I played the role of loving wife and entertained children so Dave could watch the game with few distractions.  Of course, he is still available when a sick baby needs their daddy.

The baby fever free and pink eye under control, I woke up this morning determined to have a better day.  We all needed a change of pace.  Coming off of winter break and lots of sickness, the television has been on too much.  Today I kept the tv off and instead taught Linus how to do crosswords.  Eileen is very adept at playing by herself.  After a peaceful early morning, I loaded up the kids and headed to Kirkland to the Rainbow Swing Set Superstore for their open play.  It may be the best $12 I ever spent.

The kids played for 1.5 hours.  They played hard.  They played with each other.  They made new friends.  Oh it was lovely.  We just don't seem to go on as many adventures these days.  Whenever we do, it seems to re-energize and reset all of us.

The kids especially loved the trampoline.  It almost made me wish we had kept the one that came with our house.  Linus begged to take Robin down the slide.  Robin is not a fan of slides and was on the verge of tears by the second time.

I give this place two thumbs up.  It is one of the few places where bigger kids and younger kids can both play safely amongst one another with little adult help.  In the words of Linus, "This place is pretty good."  That is high praise coming from him.

The MisEducation of a Young Woman

I was initiated into womanhood at the ripe old age of 11.  I did not know much.  Before this blessed (bloody?) event, I once found a used sanitary pad and brought it to my mother.  Embarrassed, she briefly explained what it was and that was that.  The sex ed delivered by my Catholic school briefly explained the mechanics of sex and then quickly moved on to aging and money management as part of the Family Life series.  No one bothered to explain the average length of a cycle or that my period would be somewhat predictable.  Afraid I was at the mercy of Mother Nature, I took to wearing a pad non-stop for months.  I think it was my older sister who set me straight on that one.

There were many missteps along the way as I was left to fend for myself--proper way to use a tampon comes to mind.  There was no Red Tent for me to learn, to understand, or ask questions.   Fast forward to my late teen and early adult years and there was so much I still did not know.  Monty Python's Meaning of Life proved surprisingly informative.  Really though, the cruelest part of my womanhood journey was everything no one tells you about what happens when you actually want to get pregnant or what really happens after the baby.

1.  No one explains how a woman's fertility actually works.  Pregnancy does not magically happen if you just have lots of sex.

2.  Morning sickness can last the whole 9 months.  You won't necessarily glow.  You may honestly hate being pregnant.

3.  Your epidural may not totally work.  Two out of three times mine failed to do the job and the third, who knows because it didn't have time to take effect before he was out.

4.  You will need to invest in adult diapers for awhile after the birth.  That was a huge shock after the first baby.

5.  You will need to wear a nursing bra and nursing pads.  If you just wear a shirt, you will be drenched very quickly. 

6.  Love may not be instant, but hopefully you will experience a strong case of like.

7.  Nursing will be insanely hard to learn how to do and you just may break a sweat if you have to do it in front of anyone.

8.  Finally, your body is forever changed.  More importantly, your boobs are ruined.

It is number 8 that inspired this post.  To see me now, no one would believe I used to be kind of a big girl.  Having babies proved to be my magic elixir for weight loss (not complaining. just enjoying it while it lasts).  When I was a teenager, I never understood when women in their late 20s and earlier 30s would comment bitterly about my perky teen breasts.  Intellectually, I knew that boobs got saggier as you aged.  But NO ONE TOLD ME THE REAL TRUTH!!!!  No one.  Where was my red tent when I needed them most?  How could no one prepare me?

Pre-babies I was a happy full voluptuous 36C.  Shortly after the birth of baby number 3, I was a 32G.  I joked about feeling like a porn star.  I looked comical.  These days I'm too scared to go buy a new bra.  My youthful bosom has been replaced by two shriveled pancakes with nipples.  I can't even say two masses because that would imply some sort of cleavage.  Why did no one prepare me?

I can deal with the fact that some of the skin on my belly is stretched out and hangs, that I will never have a flat stomach.  Totally fine. I'm surprisingly not too self-conscious about it.  The nose I hated when I was 13 doesn't bother me at all.   Yet, somehow the loss of my breasts has shaken me to the core.  I did not realize how much of my femininity was tied to my chest.

It's not about society or the media telling me what I should look like after having babies.  Even society acknowledges that your body changes.  I just can't help but feel there was this huge lie by omission.  I loved nursing my babies.  I even enjoyed giving birth two of the three times.    My identity changed when I became a mother, yet I was fully unprepared to lose my identity as a woman.

Every day I feel longing, remorse, and slight desperation, when I look in the mirror at myself in a state of undress.  I am reminded of a classic episode of Punky Brewster where the girls share ways of increasing their chest size from eating cheetos--"air?" Margot tried to get the point across, to chanting "I must, I must, I must increase my bust" while using a chest exercising device.  Oh, if only Margot's advice worked......

At this point, I don't think I could justify the cost of a breast lift and I don't feel comfortable getting implants. I'm going to work on not being a bitter middle aged woman who turns green with envy whenever I see a younger woman with perky boobs. My breasts' future are unclear, but I do know this.   I will do right by my daughter.  I will share with her, without embarrassment, how her body works. I will not entrust her sexual education to British sketch comedy.  I will surround her with strong women.  I will set up our play tent if she wants me to, but I don't think I can let her just lay around for a week and wait on her when she is on her period.  That does seem a bit extreme.

Box of Chocolate Babies and 15 months

The New Year also brought us Robin's 15th month milestone.  Today he went to the doctor for his well child check.  Oh, did I mention he is still the cutest baby on the planet?

 
The Stats:

Height: 28.7 inches     0.68%

Weight: 19 lb 11 oz     9.54%

Head Circumference:  18.5 inches  55%

Um yeah.  Robin is on the small side. Not to worry. We are on top of it and are lucky to live relatively close to Seattle Children's Hospital.  You may recall that we were referred to the Neurodevelopmental department after Robin's 12 month well child visit.  While waiting for the referral to go through (it takes a while), I got in touch with the Wonderland Child Development Center.

At the beginning of December Wonderland came to our house and did an evaluation of our sweet Robin bird.  Besides finding him utterly charming, they found that he was delayed across the board.  At 14 months, he generally scored as a 10 or 11 month old.  However,  he came in at 8 months in gross motor, language, and adaptive.  The good news is that his delays don't suggest there is an underlying cognitive impairment, but things are probably due to this growth restriction at birth and all those weeks of illness during his first year.  Robin now has his own therapist who comes to our house once a week and works with him.  His therapist, Hannah, has already taught him how to climb stairs.

Shortly after meeting with Wonderland, we were finally able to get into Neurodevelopmental.  They agreed he is delayed and are talking to Wonderland.  During our visit, it was noted that Robin seemed to have fallen off the growth chart for length.  This indicates a possible problem with his endocrine system.  They were also concerned about how often he got sick and the fact that he got an uncommon infection.  These concerns meant a referral to both Endocrinology and Immunology.  Wonderland and Children's also noticed possible hearing issues, so we get to see an audiologist at the end of January.

A bonus to making appointments in December is that lots of people cancel as you get closer to the holidays.  Lucky for us this meant we were able to get right into Endocrinology and Immunology.  There is nothing like sitting in a room full of pediatric cancer patients and severely ill children to make you feel grateful about mild delays and growth issues.  Tests results back show that Robin's immune system is great.  He was just unlucky his first year.  The tests run by endocrinology show things are normal, but his growth hormone is on the low end of normal.  The plan for now is to wait and watch.  He will be re-evaluated in 3 months to see if his growth is still slow.  Good news all around.

When he is not keeping us busy with doctor appointments, Robin is a silly little boy.  Dave and I constantly just look at each other, hearts filled with joy, at all the cuteness exploding out of Robin.

At 14 months, Robin finally pulled to stand.  He is now doing it consistently.  After watching his cousin at Christmas, Robin is starting to walk holding hands.  Having finally learned how to climb stairs, he  now races over, giggles maniacally and starts climbing.  We had to invest in new baby gate.

Robin thinks it is hilarious to drop stuff, especially from the changing table.  Knocking things over is also fun. Robin likes to play peek a boo, using a wall or the screen of a lap top.  He hasn't quite mastered using his hands yet.  He usually can only cover one eye, or often just gets his hand up to the side of his face.  He thinks he is being so tricky, it is hard not to bust up laughing.

He still loves putting things inside other things, Legos, Fisher Price Little People,  Playmobil, Eileen's room, watching the laundry, applesauce, baths, wrestling mama (he will take the submissive position if I crouch down on all fours).

Communication is still not great.  He recently started crawling over to me and pulling on my leg when he has a poopy diaper--thanks I think.  He can wave bye bye and will do so if he sees someone grabbing a coat or shoes.  He consistently signs "food", and will sometimes sign "more" or "hot."  He is up to three words: app (applesauce), ball, and all done.  He also loves to give high fives and will grab your hand to give you them repeatedly.  We are still waiting for a consistent "mama" or "dada."


I'm glad Robin is my third.  I can appreciate all his sweet babyness and not freak out about all his health and development.  We've really just been taking it all as it comes.  Babies are like a box of chocolate, you never know what you are going to get.  I definitely didn't expect who Linus turned out to be,  Eileen has been full of her own surprises.  After two kids, I thought I had this parenting thing down.  Nope nope nope nope.  Thanks Robin for reminding me that you just really do never know what you are going to get.