Change of Identity

I finally made a decision.  I am not returning to work next school year.  Gulp.  I put my letter to the district in the mailbox today.  I admit that I almost chased the mailman down when he picked it up.  Now that the letter is in the hands of the United States Postal Service, it's too late to change my mind. 

This has been one of the most difficult decisions I have ever had to make.  I am taking a leap of faith and praying that it all works out.  The last time I made a huge leap, I quit my first teaching job without another one waiting.  As scary as that was, it was the right move.  I hope this works out just as well.

I really appreciate all the the amazing women who helped me reach this decision.  In the end,  even if things are going to be tighter financially, I am so lucky that we can potentially afford for me to not have to work.  If I look into the future, I think I would regret not taking advantage of the opportunity.

I never ever pictured myself as a stay-at-home mom.  I was going to be the mom who perfectly balanced work and kids.  Maybe my balance will be more of kids and then work?  I am already mourning the loss of my identity as a middle school math teacher.  You can imagine the sympathy I get when I tell people what I do.  Goodbye Mrs. Dimock -- international award winning teacher, mean disciplinarian who makes kids do their homework, and getting the satisfaction of seeing a struggling student succeed.  Goodbye lesson planner extraordinaire, sometimes cross country coach, and district rabble rouser, .

Luckily, I get to say good bye to pointless and frustrating staff meetings, morning supervision,crazy parents, high stakes testing, limited photocopying, paying for my classroom out of pocket, and super naughty children.

I need to practice saying hello.  Hello to more Gymboree classes, preschool, sleeping in until 7 am, naps, playdates, and housework.

If this doesn't work out, maybe I'll begin a career at Starbucks.  I am a fan of their product and might actually save money by working for them.  In the meantime, bring on more playdates!

These two better get used to having their mama around!