Pioneer Woman

Linus and I went on a little date the other day.  We went to Great Harvest Bread Company for lunch (I was pretty sure they would have peanut butter and jelly, one of his favorite foods).  While there, we sampled some of the most yummy bread--asiago pesto and cinnamon chip.  The cinnamon chip bread was so mouth-watering good.  Linus suggested we make our own some time.  I agreed.

This morning I woke up to overcast and drizzle and thought it would be an ideal day to once again try my hand at bread making.  Reasons I don't make bread: it's time consuming, I hate dealing with floured surfaces, and I have no countertops.  I find the idea of fresh baked bread to be very romantic.  I want my kids to be able to think back on their lives and remember the scent of fresh baked bread wafting through the house, afternoon snacks of bread fresh from the oven.

I decided to consult Pioneer Woman.  This woman must have a personal trainer to counterbalance all the delicious, calorie laden food that she makes.  That or she also does chores the pioneer way, churning butter. scrubbing floors on her hands and knees, and so forth.  She does live on a ranch and homeschool her four children. So who knows?  She's one of those amazing people that make you feel completely inadequate.  But I digress.  Her recipes with step by step instructions and pictures are awesome.

Today Linus and I attempted her Homemade Cinnamon Bread. My original goal of having fresh bread from the oven when the kids woke up from nap was met with the reality that it takes a little over 5 hours to make.  Five and a half hours later, I pulled a dense loaf from the oven.  It was fully cooked, but I think it did not quite properly rise during one or both of the two hour rising periods (that's right, four separate hours of rising).  I was left to recall an episode of PBS Frontier House where two of the moms make cakes.  One is gorgeous and the other, not so much.  My bread falls into the latter. So much hope, so much promise, so much utter failure. Sigh.

Sometimes I wonder how I would fare in the event of a zombie apocalypse, or any civilization ending event.  I don't possess any carpentry/civil engineering skills, and apparently I can't even bake bread with modern appliances.  Things are not looking good.  I think tomorrow I will try something easier like cookies.