Confession Time

It's time to come clean.  Despite considering myself to be a good little Catholic girl, I have not been doing a Lenten fast.  In fact, I've even been eating meat on Fridays. Gasp!  Oh, it feels so good to have that off my shoulders.  Okay, but really I have a good reason for abandoning those tenets of the Catholic faith.  I am pregnant.

I'll let that set in a little bit.  Yes, that is correct. I am pregnant, knocked up, with child, there is a bun in this oven.  I will be 11 weeks tomorrow. I am due October 1st.  I broke out the maternity pants today because I just couldn't face having a button pressing against me.

We told the kids last Thursday night, knowing that once Linus knew that the whole world would.  We took them out for ice cream at Bluebird.  I started out by mentioning how Mommy's been sick a lot and really tired and asked them if they wanted to know why.  We then told them we were going to have a baby.  Linus immediately put his hand to his mouth and exclaimed, "Wow! Cool."  And then went back to eating his ice cream.  Eileen didn't quite get it.  About ten minutes later, once the ice cream had been consumed and he had had time to process this new information, Linus exploded with excitement.

Linus is already visualizing life with a new baby.  He wants a boy, Eileen wants a baby.  According to him, it's name will be Junior, boy or girl.  He will throw it a surprise birthday party and for Halloween it will be a caterpillar.  Linus quickly realized that the birth would require childcare and he immediately had an answer, "Wait! Someone will need to take care of us.  I know--Uncle Tim.  He's the greatest! I love him so much. Too much."  So Uncle Tim, if you're reading this, let me know.  Linus continues to thank me every day for having a baby.

For those of you who have been following my saga, this pregnancy has been a true blessing.  After having difficulty conceiving, we miscarried in October.  I was devastated.  Eventually, I decided that I just wanted to move forward.  Unfortunately, my fertility doctor discovered several large cysts.  While not harmful, it prevented them from using any fertility treatments.

After shedding a few tears and developing a very negative attitude I decided to press forward.  For once my body decided to cooperate and work the way it was supposed to.  I had some progesterone hanging around from the last pregnancy and decided to take it to help things along (my acupuncturist also thought it was a good idea).  I was stunned when I had a positive test.

Even though I conceived without her help, my fertility doctor monitored me closely, ie lots of blood draws and ultrasounds.  Dave came to the second ultrasound, the one that the last time had revealed a miscarriage.  Clutching his hand tightly, I burst into tears when we saw a heartbeat. Even though I wasn't close with my fertility doctor, I cried and hugged her at my last visit with her.

Now I'm seeing my regular doctor and am starting to own this pregnancy.  The kids' excitement has made it easier to get excited, although I'm constantly afraid I will miscarry at any moment.  This pregnancy has been a lot easier in terms of puking.  Where with Linus, I puked all day everyday for nine months, this time I am only mildly sick.  Life is a lot easier when your head isn't continually in a toilet.  I'm just so grateful for this baby and I am trying to savor this pregnancy because I am pretty sure I am done after this. 

And now I have confessed everything.