The Sleep (or Lack Thereof) Post

Oh Sleep!  Alas I knew thee.  It has been so long since we have thoroughly enjoyed each other's company.  Once a couple so deeply in love, we are now almost strangers simply passing in the night.

If you can't guess, this mama is not getting a lot of sleep.  Before you have kids everyone warns you about giving up sleep, no more lazy Saturday mornings.  As much as you think you understand that having kids means less sleep, you really don't.  It isn't possible unless you are a former P.O.W.  I now understand why sleep deprivation is used as a means of torture.  I know why the caged bird sings--to simply keep me awake and drive me towards insanity.

At this point five years into the whole parenting thing, six if you count the nights of sleepless pregnancy, I have accepted that "sleeping in" means 8 AM.  I know that after a morning full of activity, there may be no down time in the afternoon.  The idea of leaving the house on the weekend after 9 pm is laughable.  I am in my pajamas most nights by 6:30 pm.

I am fine with all of this for the most part.  I really am.  What is not fine is being awoken by different cries in the middle of the night.  Eileen talks in her sleep.  She often has nightmares whenever she makes a developmental leap.  Additionally, she frequently loses her blankets in the middle of the night and calls for us to tuck her back in.  Just because we usually ignore the request doesn't mean she stops yelling or we stop hearing her yell.

Linus was a horrible nighttime sleeper as an infant (some of it was our fault but I also blame him having two teeth at two months).  When it got to the point where he woke every 30 to 50 minutes all night long, I started having trouble functioning and just cried a lot.  I read every sleep book.  I did the sleep logs, the activity logs.  Dr. Ferber proved to be the answer to our prayers and by 6 months, things were pretty good.  We learned from our mistakes with Linus and so Eileen was much easier.  Because she took naps in the pack n play in our closet, she was also a champ at sleeping at other people's houses or strange locations.  We made sure to put her down awake.  Eileen and Linus were on the same nap schedule so I was able to take a nap every afternoon.

Enter Robin.  We thought we had this.  Put the baby down and walk away.  Done.  If he awakens, just a quick check, pat on chest, walk away.  This time around I rarely get an afternoon nap.  If I do, it is only 20 minutes.  Putting Robin down for a nap is great.  Night is not.  Robin awakens at least 6 times a night, and up to 12 times.  We used a co-sleeper with both Eileen and Robin.  We tried moving Robin into our closet (it's a walk-in, we aren't barbarians!) and ran the bathroom fan.  It helped a little, other than the fact I now get to trudge across the room to feed him.  I consulted all my sleep books again.  I placed Dr. Ferber on my nightstand for quick reference.  Dave and I discussed a game plan.  We were going to sleep train Robin. 

Two weeks later I pronounce us failures.  After some initial improvement, he appears to be backsliding.  Dear God I just want three hours of uninterrupted sleep! Is that too much to ask?  Robin is at his worst between 1:30 and 4:30 AM.  Add in Eileen waking at least once, if not twice, and there is just a lot of waking going on and not nearly enough sleep.  In case you are wondering, the kids wake up between 6 and 6:30 AM. 

Dave helps, but as the night wears on, I start to feel guilty.  I try to let him sleep although usually I leave the trudging downstairs to Eileen for Dave.  I'm up to 2 cups of coffee and one chai every day.  I feel my mind starting to go and see my hair graying more rapidly.  I may need to start wearing make up to cover my face that now looks like death, haggard death.

Robin isn't eating solids yet.  I like to wait until 6 month.  Just as I was contemplating solids to see if it would help with sleep, Robin started getting eczema.  I don't want to introduce any new allergen factors until I can at least resolve some of the eczema or find its cause. 

So I persevere.  What else is there to do?  I just repeat my mantra.  It will get better. It will get better.

Robin is trying to give up nap #4 of the day.  Today he just couldn't stay awake and fell asleep in my arms.  I think he just wanted to rub it in.  It's a good thing he is cute.

lovey, binky, and mama's arms -- he doesn't understand what I'm complaining about, sleep is easy