With Love From Nebraska

Eileen and I flew to Nebraska over Presidents' Day Weekend to celebrate my dear friend, Heather's, birthday.  Heather moved to a small town, Central City, three years ago and this was my first trip to the Midwest.

I love Heather.  She is an amazing friend and we always seem to be able to pick up right where we left off.  I pray every day that she comes to her senses and moves back to the Pacific Northwest.  In the meantime, I felt I owed it to her to see this strange foreign world that she now calls home.

First things first.  Nebraska is flat and full of two lane highways.  It's like driving through eastern Washington and yet never seeing a hill.  No Spokane rises out of the dust.  No trees, no mountains, no rivers, but lots of farm equipment.  I saw more trains in four days than I have seen in several years.  The trains ran right behind Heather's apartment and prevented sleep my first night.  The large semi trucks that drove through town caused the building to rumble like an earthquake.

My first morning there I about had a heart attack when the town siren went off, fearing I was about to encounter my first tornado.  Turns out the siren sounds every day at specific times to let the farmers know what time it is.

Eating out was interesting.  The fine dining restaurant in town had gizzards on the menu.  Salads are iceberg lettuce mixes with crackers on the side.  There were no oil and vinegar dressings.  Breakfasts do not come with the option of fresh fruit and dinners don't have vegetables on the side.  This is meat and potato country.  Even more shocking was that restaurants used folding tables and chairs.  Many of the restaurants felt more like church parish halls than restaurants.  The food was filling, simple, and unpretentious.  Of course I made sure to visit the Dairy Queen since there are none in Seattle. 

Saturday night we went out to the local watering hole.  Heather plays in a dart league.  It was my first time in an F.O.E. lodge.  I was introduced to shuffleboard, which I rocked.  The drink of choice for many locals was "red beer."  It's a combination of beer and tomato juice.  Budweiser even sells it in a can--bud light and clamato.  Yuck.

The locals made a serious impression on me.  People don't lie when they talk about Midwest hospitality, even the TSA people were helpful.  Nebraska folk were the exact opposite of the Seattle freeze.  I felt embraced immediately.  While I don't think I exactly fit in, everyone's friendliness put me at ease.

With everything 30 miles or more away, car naps were an essential part of the trip.

 While Eileen and I were gone, Dave and Linus did "guy stuff."  Dave created a map to help Linus choose activities.  It looks like they had a very full four days.

Eileen did great on the flight to Nebraska.  Our trip home was one giant nightmare.  During our flight from Grand Island, NE to Dallas, TX,  Eileen screamed bloody murder the whole time.  My ears wouldn't pop during the last twenty minutes, With 15 minutes left on the flight and Eileen flailing and screaming, I proceeded to make good use of the vomit bag.  It was horrible and only a foreshadowing of what was to come.

Our flight out of Dallas was delayed and over booked.  Gates were changed, planes were changed.  When we boarded the plane, I learned we would be sitting in the middle seat between two men, one of whom was easily over 350 pounds and flowing over into our seat.  It gets worse.

After a runway delay,  Eileen pooped during take off but there was some turbulence so no one could get up.  After 20 minutes, Eileen's diaper situation was bad enough for me to flaunt the flight attendants and changed her.  We endured more light turbulence while the pilot kept saying, just another 12 minutes, just another 100 miles.  Suddenly, about an hour into the flight we hit massive turbulence.  The plane began to buck all over the place.  I burst into tears.  People screamed.  I have never never been so scared.  The bucking continued for about 5 minutes.  Afterwards, my two seatmates tried to comfort me.  When Eileen got fussy, one gave her his I-pad to play with.  During the whole trip Eileen never slept even as the night wore on and it was well past bedtime.  The turbulence never really stopped.  There was only a brief time when they let passengers use the bathroom.  People clapped when we finally landed and the woman behind me yelled, "Praise the Lord!"  As we filed off the plane, the pilot joked about roller coasters and the fun ride.

My nerves are shot.  Next time I go to Nebraska, I'm bringing Dave with me.