Conflict Avoidance

I hate conflict.  I avoid it at all costs.  You may recall that a few months ago my hairdresser was complaining about how much she hated cutting my hair.  Instead of giving her a few choice words, I quietly took it and then found a new salon, never calling the old one to give them a whats up. 

Like everybody else, I got bullied as a kid.  I just put my head down and hoped if I made myself small enough, they would just stop and go away.  When a yogurt was thrown at me and covered my back in high school, I just looked sad, wiped myself down, and tried to go on.  It was a survival technique I employed, afraid that if I said something I would sound weak or stupid.

My freshman year in college, I was subjected to a barrage of cruelty by my suite mate.  I tried in vain to ignore it, but that only frustrated my tormentor, causing her to increase her measures of abuse.   It was perhaps the hardest 3 months of my life--the suite mate was finally transferred to another room.  When I look back at my fall quarter freshman year, I just want to shake myself for not being a stronger advocate.  In the end, I did get an apology from the university.  If I ever write my memoirs, I could easily fill a book with all that occurred during that freshman year.

Enough sob story.  I'm a lucky to have a good friend in my life is regularly encourages me to stand up for myself.  If I won't send back a wrong food order, she'll do it for me.  Poorly crafted latte--she insists they remake it.  I admire my friend, Colleen, and I can tell she is starting to rub off on me a little.  At 32, I am finally learning to assert myself.

So now, the point of this email.  I am feeling a little proud of myself because I have actually said something twice in two days when I was bothered by something.  This is a big deal for me.

Linus has been doing gymnastics at the community center for the past two months.  The first month, I had him in a younger class.  I did not expect much.  I just wanted him to have a good time.  The equipment is a little battered, but that was fine.  I was not overly impressed with the coach.  She was a nice girl, but unprofessional to say the least and put little effort into instructing the class.  I appreciated that she didn't mind that Eileen climbed on the equipment not in use.  I tried moving Linus up a class to see if things improved.  They didn't.  The kids were bored and acted out.  The difficulty never progressed and Linus started asking to go back to soccer.  The other parents also were making plans to not re-enroll.  Then on Monday there was a sub.  She was AMAZING!!! It was a completely different class.  I marveled at her management  and teaching strategies.  The kids were learning actual terminology.  After the first 5 minutes of class, no kids acted out, and every kid was engaged.  To top it off, these were 3 and 4 year olds.  After class, all the parents rushed the substitute coach, trying to find out where she taught.  She seemed a little taken aback by our response.  As we were leaving the building, I made a point to talk to one of the managers of the community center.  I felt they really needed to know why no one was re-enrolling in the class.  Normally, I never would have said anything.  As a teacher,  I really try to give instructors the benefit of the doubt.  But after seeing the potential of the class, I could not stay silent.  I felt strangely proud for totally selling that coach down river.

Then today, again I decided to not settle for less.  We hire a yard service who comes every other week to maintain a yard.  They do a really really good job, better than our previous yard people.  They are supposed to come in the morning at 8:15, yet never have.  When I hired them, I asked that they not come in the afternoon because it disrupts nap.  After the first time that they came during nap, I politely talked to the owner to stress the importance of coming in the morning.  Today they came in the middle of the afternoon.  Linus and Eileen just cried for 2 hours instead of sleeping.  No one was happy.  Instead of just hoping it wouldn't happen again, I sent the owner a sternly worded email.  We'll see what he says.

I realize that these instances over the past two days may seem like a small deal to many, but it represents growth for me.  I have to remind myself that I am worthy of good things, I don't have to settle for substandard, especially when I am paying for services.  I still struggle to mention when my order gets messed up.  I just want to be a good role model for my kids.  I don't want them to be bitchy jerks, but to know that it's okay to want to be treated with dignity and respect, and wanting your order to be correct does not make you a bad person.

Sleepover, Cakes Pops, and Super Bowl

It was a busy weekend to say the least.  Saturday night Linus hosted his first official sleepover.

His good friend, August, spent the night.  Linus and August have known each other since their gestational days.  August's mom, Emily, and I met in a prenatal yoga class.  Maybe it was bonding during the soothing yoga movements, but August and Linus both have lots of energy and wild imaginations.  The combination can make for some exhausting playdates.

Pizza/movie night quickly gave way to dress up.  It was one of those nights when I really appreciated our ever growing costume box.  There were knights and dragons, super heroes, snails and butterflies, and countless others.  Doctor was by far their favorite.

Dr. August

Linus was ill with a terrible case of hippos in his stomach. Emergency surgery was needed.

The boys wound down with puzzles.

The boys went to bed pretty easily.  After 20 minutes of silence, Dave and I were treated to a hilarious conversation via the baby monitor.  We listened as August repeatedly peppered Linus with the question of "Why?"  We couldn't help but smile as August gave Linus a taste of his own medicine.

Eileen's favorite part of the sleepover was the inflatable toddler bed August used.  Eileen loves to play on beds and flop on soft things.

To our enormous relief, the boys slept a solid 11 hours.  There were no tears, no wake ups.  It was awesome.  In the morning there was more dress up and a trip to Golden Gardens to play on the ropes and pirate ship.

A sleepover alone would make for a fun an exciting weekend, but this was no ordinary weekend.  Today was the Super Bowl.  In anticipation of the Super Bowl party with our PEPs friends, I decided to attempt my first cake pop.  I found a recipe for football cake pops and decided to give them a try.   In case you were wondering, cake pops are time consuming and not easy.  Many cake pops were lost along the way.  Out of an original 28, 16 survived.

They tasted pretty good, like a ding dong without the creamy center.  The party was fun.  In addition to my amazing cake pops, we brought the requisite lil'smokies wrapped in crescent rolls.  Our friends, the Reillys, did an amazing job hosting.  There was even a separate kid snack and drink table.  The game may not have been all that spectacular and the half time show was boring, but the kids all had a great time and were really well behaved.  Eileen was an eating fiend.  I think she out ate every adult and was not pleased any time that mama tried to curb the food fest.  If you want to see a sad, crying, baby tell her she can't have anymore cake pops and lil' smokies.  Eileen eventually was distracted by the playroom, but found time for a quiet raisin date with Connor.

In short, it was just your average, full, very epic, Dimock Family weekend.

From the Mouths of Babes in January

Two girls were fighting over a toy at preschool and Linus decided to intervene.
Linus: Hey! We share at preschool. You need to listen to each other.

Linus (to mommy):  I'm going to eat you with cornbread and beans and it will be very satisfying.

Linus:  I'm Peter Parker.  People don't know who I am.  They don't know my secret.  At night I become Spiderman.

While sliding around on the floor at gymnastics
Linus: I'm a python.
Coach: Linus, look can you put yours arms up like this?
Linus: I'm a python.  I don't have arms.

Stages

I normally try not to whine or complain much in my blog, but sometimes I just need to vent.  Apparently, my children have decided to go through difficult stages at the same time.

Linus is my super hero in training.  He spends most of his day as Spiderman or Batman.  We read super hero books, make bat bunkers to hide in, fling webs, throw batarangs, etc.  I made him Spiderman jammies.  I even let him go out in public in costume.  All of this is fine.  I don't mind, I just ask that he not wear a mask while eating.  It gets more difficult when he refuses to wear anything but his costume, Spiderman t-shirt, or Batmand t-shirt.

Maybe not so coincidentally,  Linus seems to have developed whining as a super power.  It's bad.  Everything is done with a whine.  Every "no" or "maybe next time" is met with the start of a tantrum.  Today I walked calmly out of the zoo and to the car while he screamed and flailed by my side, occasionally trying to block my passage.  Like many children, Linus possesses the ability to be a complete angel for others while working out his mischief at home.  This skill seems to be waning.  Yesterday his preschool teachers almost called me to come get him because they were so concerned, thinking he must be very sick to be so "fragile" (their words).  I'm not completely sure what was going on at school.  Linus has only said he was tired.  The amount of demanding, tantrums, whining, and time outs is reaching epic proportions.  This is not to say he doesn't have sweet moments, but geez, this is exhausting.

My dear sweet baby Eileen is growing up and appears to be experiencing some growing pains.  She has started freaking out when put to bed.  I had to go get her from the gym childcare the other day due to crying.  While out at lunch Wednesday, she just cried and cried.  She spends a lot of time crying.  I know her teeth hurt (she is cutting 6 teeth right now), but I think a morphine drip might be extreme.  All I know is that I have a sad sad baby these days and it doesn't appear to be because of an ear infection.

At 14 months old, Eileen is capable of sleeping through the night, but hasn't had much interest in it as of late.  Starting around 1 am she wakes up crying.  I can't go to her because she will insist on nursing.  Dave and I are both spending a lot of time awake between the hours of 1 am and 4:30 am when I usually give in and nurse and she goes back to sleep until 7am.  I am actually ready to be  done nursing.  Our early morning feeding is the only one.  It was easier to wean Linus.  He nursed at 5:00ish in the morning, so when we stopped nursing, our day started at 5 am and he eventually slept later.  I don't think I can start the day at 2:30 or 4 am.  The kids share a room so I don't want to just let Eileen cry it out.  Linus can sleep through a lot, but probably not an hour plus of crying.

I am at a loss, so I vent.  The past week has been exhausting, especially the constant crying from both children.  I would love a day off with the ability to totally pamper myself --sleep in, get a latte, a massage, maybe a facial, curl up with my nook and read--all while the house magically cleans itself so I don't constantly remind myself of all the things that need to get done.  I know Dave fantasizes about sleep too.  In my youth I never thought my dream vacation would just be going someplace quiet where I could simply exist uninterrupted for an extended period of time.  For right now, I think I will just catch a quick nap and then regroup.

Snowmageddon-Lite, but a little bit heavier

I expected to wake up this morning to rain washing away my precious few inches of snow.  I looked forward to leaving the house, maybe a latte and pumpkin bread at Starbucks.  Instead of rain, I was met with snow (although there was rain/freezing rain at one point in the early morning).  It then snowed ALL DAY LONG. 

Hopes dashed, I tried to think of fun new ways to fill the day.  One cannot bake cookies everyday.  Linus did puzzles (48 pieces) by himself while I brainstormed.  Eventually I decided we would have a camp-out in the playroom.  I grabbed sleeping bags and a lantern and the fun was born.

We watched the snow from our tent all morning long while sipping hot cider, playing, and crawling in and out of the tunnel.  We did venture outside for some snow play at one point.  It is amazing how long it takes to get three people ready for the snow.  

Despite the fact that Dave went to work, the day went by faster.  Right now the kids are in bed,  I've got mulled wine ready in the crockpot, and I am ready for a cozy evening at home.

Snowmageddon-Lite

Maybe you heard?  Western Washington just got a lot of snow.  I vividly remember the great November snow of 1985.  There was snow past my waist.  We sledded and built a large penguin.  My kindergarten class made stone soup.  It was magical.  I was so excited when I heard we were destined for a storm that would match my fondest winter memories.  Sadly, my neighborhood kept getting jilted in the snow department.  A little dusting here and there, or at other times, none while the rest of Seattle became a winter wonderland.  Even just walking up the hill a few blocks revealed snow.  It was all very disappointing and made me relieved that Linus could not read so he wouldn't know that everyone had snow but him.

I was a little sad when I first learned that the snow forecast had "evolved" and the storm was not going to be as severe.  I tried to stay optimistic. This morning we woke up to snow, 2.5 inches to be exact.  I guess beggars can't be choosers. I was just glad that Dave was going to stay home from work.  The kids were excited.  When he could not longer contain his excitement, Linus kicked me.  Of course he went to time out immediately, but I understood the brewing energy that needed release.

8:25 AM  We were ready for snow play.

 Eileen can't walk yet, but she was happy to explore by crawling.

It snowed all morning long.  We eventually got about 3.5 inches of snow total.  We baked heath bar cookies, read books, did art, watched "The Incredibles," built forts.  It was a long morning to say the least.  Linus then decided we needed to play dragon versus knight. Costumes were assembled and battles were fought.

Did I mention that I spent the day in my long johns?

Naps were had.  Still full of energy, Linus suggested a walk in the snow after dinner.  Dave willingly took the kids by himself.

Even Batman likes walks in the snow.

It was a long day. A good day, but long.  I was reminded why we leave the house every day.  I'm ready for some hot cocoa wine.

A Mash-up Worthy of Glee

There's a lot of music in our house.  In addition to a large collection of contemporary children's artists, we spend a lot of time singing--before bed, to liven up dinner or grace, background support for imaginative play, etc.

Last night Linus proclaimed, "Attention please!"  He then grabbed his ukelele and a stool and put on a little show.  Normally, he walks rapidly in a large circle while singing.  Tonight was slightly reminiscent of MTV Unplugged.  We were even treated to a deconstruction of Christmas in Kilarney.

I have been disappointed with the show, Glee, recently.  With a mash-up of this quality, I think Linus stands a chance on Season 2 of The Glee Project (a reality show that gave 2 people roles on the show, and 2 people short arcs).

In other news, at almost 14 months, Eileen took TWO steps for the first time.  It wore her out so she decided to use her sweet ride for the rest of the evening.