Maui Vacation with all my in-laws? Sign me up!

I've had my share of luck over the years.  The biggest would be in the in-law department.  I married into a pretty great family.  Since the first grandkids were born 16 years ago, there have been regular get togethers, or clan bakes as we call them.  We used to do them every month, but it's been starting to move to the bi-monthly category.  Last year the idea was floated of a giant family vacation to Maui.

The idea of going on vacation with 26 other people, 26 other personalities, might seem like the worst idea ever.  I think what made the whole thing possible is acceptance of our differences (and there are many), a lot of love, and the general idea that everyone had positive intentions.  My mother and father in law deserve the most credit for this vacation since they paid for it.  Gail and Laurence celebrated 50 years of marriage and Gail also just retired after 30 years of being the church lady at a Catholic Church.  I am still in awe of their generosity.

As a show of gratitude, I shared my gift of organization.  Planning this large a vacation is no small task.  It's a lot of cars, hotel rooms, and air travel from both the Seattle area and New Zealand.  Planning started 12-15 months in advance, with reservations happening 7 months in advance.  Different siblings helped along the way from the offer to pay for breakfast for all grandkids at the hotel everyday, to compiling a memory book, booking a snorkel trip, to organizing a special show.   It took many hands.

Getting to Maui was something out of the Brady Brunch, almost.  We were all on the same flight over except for the 4 flying from New Zealand.  Luckily, they landed the same time as us.  The worst part of the entire trip was dealing with the rental car agency. If you value your time, money, sanity, then do not, I repeat DO NOT use Budget Rental Car on Maui.  There are no words to describe what a terrible, horrible, sweaty, time-consuming experience trying to rent cars was with them.  The good news is that it bonded all of us.

Life was good once we made it to the hotel.  I cannot recommend Kanaapali Beach Hotel enough.  It was perfect for our large group.  We were able to have the bottom floor of one of the buildings (necessary due to some special needs).  Some rooms were adjoining.  We were all able to easily gather just outside our rooms on the grass. I could see kids walk to and from the room when I was at the pool.  It was awesome.  We totally utilized the grassy area right outside our room.  The pool is no frills but big enough to have a good time.  It's warm (even warm enough for me to be willing to go in) and has a decent shallow end that Robin loved.

Robin looks good Hawaiian style.

With so many adults and ages to contend with (kids ages 6 weeks to 16 years), we regularly split up.  It was nice to know that there was someone always available to watch a kid if you needed to be elsewhere.  I'm still in awe how smoothly everything went.

Everyone was excited to meet Baby Wesley, age 6 weeks

Meetings of adults were necessary after breakfast to figure out logistics.

Laurence looking regal.

We dragged the kids to mass on Sunday in Lahaina.  It was sooooo sweaty.  Instead of coffee and donuts after mass, or even lunch, we opted for shave ice.

Over half our group went on a snorkel trip to Molokini Crater.  I know myself and know that boats just make me vomit.  I was so miserable on the last snorkel trip I took, I opted out of this one.  Instead I stayed back with Robin and my niece, Lucy. We had lots of fun at the beach.  And it meant that her mommy actually got to go on the snorkel trip with all her big kids.

Eileen on the boat to Molokini Crater.

Did I mention that my nephew, Wesley, has a naturally occurring mohawk?

Linus begged me to buy him a coconut.  Cracking open the coconut was an afternoon family activity.

Dave and I decided to invest in actual snorkel gear for the kids.  Bonus?  Linus and I are the same snorkel and fin size.  Eileen is a natural.

We all really wanted to celebrate Gail and Laurence, and their awesomeness.  We sent them to a nice dinner at the Mala Ocean Tavern (very cool place that is also a sea turtle sanctuary). Additionally, we dedicated an afternoon/evening to them.  After doing a session with a family photographer, we wanted to put on a little show of appreciation before we all headed to a luau at the Royal Lahaina.  Every family planned something special to do and then everyone sang "Buy you a rainbow" for them.  While Gail and Laurence were at their special dinner, we all practiced for the big show set for the following day.  We got applause from people on their lanais above us.

This video makes me so happy.

I don't think Gail and Laurence knew we were planning anything.  One of my favorite things on the entire trip was watching a re-enactment of the fight between the man in black and Fezzik from Princess Bride starring my three year old kiwi niece, April, as the man in black.  She was amazing--costumes, dedication to the role, the lines!  For our family's part, we did the bear camping skit by the request of the kids.

During our celebration we presented Gail and Laurence with the memory book, compiled by my sister-in-law.   It's full of pictures, memories, original compositions inspired by childhood stories.

 Linus and I both could not get enough of this sweet baby.

My father-in-law, classic dad.

The luau was great.  I've now been to three different luaus and the one at the Royal Lahaina was my favorite.  It definitely had the best menu and I appreciated that you got a print out of the menu, highlighting what was gluten free or vegetarian.  It also had a kids buffet table.  The whole thing was just really well run and many people's favorite part of the trip.

We got Maori tribal tattoos at the luau.

Beautiful girl.

I was a little surprised by just how much Linus enjoyed the luau.

We enjoyed some great snorkeling walking distance to our hotel, just on the other side of the black rock.  Linus, Eileen, and Dave even saw a spotted eagle ray!  Robin was more into the sand/beach aspect.

Daddy/daughter snorkel

So many cousins!

Eileen and Linus loved spending time with their cousins.  Eileen and Abigail are best buds. 

Another favorite moment from the trip was when I was snorkeling with Eileen.  Abigail swam over to us.  I watched the two of them meet under water and grasp each other with both hands.  It was beautiful.

Dave and Linus joined a crew that went to the Haleakala Volcano.

Meanwhile, I stayed behind with the younger girls and Robin.  We ate shave ice and visited the Banyan Tree.

We had to hurry back to the hotel for hula lessons.

Linus at Snorkel Bob's.

Linus discovered a new passion for lizard hunting.  Meet Magnus.

We all spent a lot of time at the pool.  By a lot, I mean at least 4 hours a day.  Robin misses it.

We've been home a few days now.  Adjusting to time zones is never fun.  It's even worse with kids.  We had a great time.  It was not the same experience as my kid-free Hawaiian vacation.  Dave and I did get a lovely evening out courtesy of my awesome principal.  Otherwise, we barely saw each other. 

This was definitely a once in a lifetime experience.  I am so grateful for my entire family on Dave's side.  It takes a special group of people to pull off something like this.  Thank you Gail and Laurence for growing this family and providing this amazing vacation.

Aloha!

From the Mouths of Babes in July

Robin:  You took all my luck!   (I threw out the dead clovers that were in his carseat)

Eileen:  Don't you think the best instrument to play Yankee Doodle is the saxophone?

Me:  I don't know.  I was thinking maybe the flute?

Eileen: (very annoyed) Why would I play the flute when I can already whistle?

Robin:  I'm wearing my mama jammies. (pajama shirt, underwear bottoms)

Linus:  Life is neither gentle nor kind but it is the source of all life.  (Linus recently decided he wanted to create famous, profound quotes)

Robin:  Can we go to Hawaii again in two years?

Me:  What was your favorite part of Hawaii besides the pool?

Robin: Bacon. Froot Loops.

Ready Player One Robin

Robin currently views his life as a video game. He pretends everything is a series of levels.

Example: Each time he jumps in the pool, he goes up a level. 12th Dive--"I'm level 12."  Dives again -- "Level 13."

"I'm having the best day ever.  I'm on level 100!"  Pool time ends.  "Best day over."

Dave has utilized Robin's gamer approach to life when it comes to bedtime.

• He pretends to go to bedtime levels.
• There is a treasure chest.  Inside are fruit snacks that are sleeping potions.
• If he takes the sleeping potions, he can get to the dream level.

15 Years Strong

This week Dave and I celebrated 15 years of marriage.  "Celebrated" in all honesty may be a stretch.  I believe our conversation went something like this:

Me:  Hey, did you know it's our anniversary tomorrow?
Dave: Yeah.  Did you want to do something?
Me:  Eh.  Not really.  I don't want to find a babysitter and we are already going to a fancy dinner on Sunday.
Dave:  That's what I was thinking too.
Me: Great.  Glad we are on the same page.

That ladies and gentlemen is marriage.  On my anniversary, I took the kids to early morning swim team, finished painting our guest room, and cleaned the house top to bottom.  When Linus accused me of not doing anything fun, I mentioned the fact that it was my anniversary so if anyone should be having fun it was me.

I saw Linus immediately get inspired.  He suddenly wanted to talk to his sister.  In fact, he wanted to go on a bike ride with her despite the fact that she can barely ride.  I could see the wheels turning in his head (no pun intended).  Touched by his thoughtfulness, I offered to drive them to Third Place Books and ignore them completely.  I even gave them $5.  It was very cute watching them work together to hatch a plan.

Dave wasn't home for dinner.  We ate hot dogs and raw carrots.  I know. Like could we BE any more romantic?

Once Dave was finally home, Linus and Eileen presented us with our gifts and a card.  Dark chocolate for Dave and milk chocolate for me from the chocolate store.  I pretty sure Linus went in there for the samples and then decided to make a purchase.

The card was my favorite.

If you can't read it, it says,

Time Line Poem

From the time of the kite-eating 
Dinosaurs, to the time of the kite-eating 
trees, to the kite-eating Jawa's.
I think you are guys are the kite
Together forever.
(In Dinosaurs mouths/trees/Jawa hands)

Linus admits to being partially inspired by Charlie Brown (the infamous kite-eating tree).

This card is a testament to Dave's and my love.  15 years ago we became a family.  We now have 3 kids as a part of our family.  3 kids who love us very much and try to be thoughtful in their own way, enough to make us a really hilarious card.  Really, what is more romantic than that.

Happy 15 years to us!

Confronting Ghosts of Adolescence, aka My 20 year high school reunion

"Adolescence typically describes the years between ages 13 and 19 and can be considered the transitional stage from childhood to adulthood." -- Psychology Today

Adolescence was not kind to me.

Behold 13 year old me in 7th grade. Oof.

Thick, dry yet somehow also greasy, wavy hair with half head bangs brushed to the side.  I desperately needed a flat iron and some conditioner.  Turtlenecks were not a good look on me.  I was shy, easily embarrassed, and couldn't bare to speak in front of others.  I was awkward with no sense of how to dress.  There's "I can't believe we thought we looked good, the early 90s were nuts" and then there was me.  Let's just say this one time I thought it would look cute and jaunty to add my black sailor hat from Disneyland (you know the one with my name embroidered on the back).

After a less than ideal experience of the middle school social scene, I was optimistic about high school.  It was my chance to start fresh.  Things were better.  I got less nervous being in front of a group and had a larger circle of friends.  Yet I always felt like I was on the outside looking in at everything.

High school was a long exercise in how to fail:  fail to make a single high school team, fail to get asked to dances (except one --God bless you Brandon), fail to be promoted to the next level of choir, fail to make the plays or musicals until senior year.  The last one was especially brutal when my little sister made it into the musical and I didn't.  When it came to forming groups, I was last man standing more than once.  I don't think the last one was malevolence on the part of my peers, but simply a failure to notice.

I rounded out high school by gaining lots of weight and making questionable makeup choices.  I was embarrassed by my crooked teeth and hid them as much as I could.

Luckily, adolescence ends.  The gift of an awkward adolescence gives me compassion and insight for those middle schoolers in my care.  I look to see those on the edges who need affirmation that there is nothing wrong with them.  One of my favorite things about teaching is the fact the I am given the opportunity to work with students on their social emotional development.  I show my students old photos of me (which always prompts gasps, hands to mouths, and sometimes fits of laughter) to emphasize the point that they will not be defined by who they are as a middle schooler, that this is only a moment in time.  Who they are physically or socially as a 13 year old is not who they are destined to be forever.  I encourage them to take healthy risks, and decide what kind of person they want to be.

My high school reunion was this weekend.  As it crept closer, I was shocked to discover all my old insecurities take hold.  Former classmates shared photos from our high school years on Facebook.  While it was meant to be fun, I only felt sadness.  I wasn't in those photos.  I wasn't in the group of girls with the Senior shirts (like the ones from Dazed and Confused), I wasn't at the parties, I didn't have awkward dance photos because I didn't have dates to the dances.  Suddenly, attending my high school reunion seemed like the worst idea ever.

It just so happened that I was reading, "Enough As She Is: how to help girls move beyond impossible standards of success to live healthy, happy, and fulfilling lives" by Rachel Simmons.  In the book Simmons discusses the negative effects of social media on adolescent anxiety.  Given what I experienced after only 3 days, I can't begin to imagine what youth today must experience.  I think I would just hide away in my room crying.  I am so grateful that AOL messenger was just barely a thing when I was in high school.

As I read, I reflected the experience of who I was in adolescence compared to who I am now.  I like who I am now.  I am not perfect, but I have the things that I always wanted -- a loving husband (who is cute and smart), beautiful children (who are both amazingly wonderful and amazingly frustrating), a job, coworkers and a boss who like me.  I get to occasionally go on vacation.  I have friends (who I may or may not get to see as much as I like).  While I don't wear designer clothes unless Target counts, I think I dress pretty cute (sans sailor cap of course).

An added bonus is that I am significantly thinner than I was in high school.  Weight isn't everything and should not define us, but being overweight can impact how others view you and how you see yourself.  Even before I got to where I am now, just losing a little weight gave me the confidence to be more outgoing in groups.  I could also be more physically active.

I bought myself a cute shirt at Target the day of the reunion.  I wore my favorite jeans.  I wanted to feel confident. I spent the day reminding myself that I am a good enough as I am.   I've never been more nervous than when I climbed the stairs to where night one of my high school reunion was being held.  Apparently, everyone was just as nervous as I was about going, even the cool kids.

The benefit of 20 years gone by is that people truly do change.  We grow.  We mature.  Facebook made it all a little less awkward--I already knew what a lot of people were up to, their kids names.  It was so much easier to make small talk.  I couldn't believe how friendly everyone was.  Why couldn't high school be like this!?!

I achieved what I call my "Romy and Michelle" moment.  People didn't recognize me! It was like I was some sort of mystery woman and it was kind of awesome.  Not to brag, but I think I did look pretty good.  One person told me how much she valued her memories of my childhood home--where I saw dirt, mild hoarding, and boredom, she saw love, fun, and so many books! I had no idea that someone had that experience of me.  It was an unexpected rewriting of my childhood.

People who I thought of as being part of the popular group wanted to talk to me and hear what I had to say.  Nothing felt weird or awkward.  It was like we all had actually grown up!  I never expected to have my high school reunion be a validating experience.

I didn't take a lot of pictures.  Here's me ready for night two.

I was so glad my friend, Anjeanette, came all the way from NYC.

I am living proof that adolescence is awkward, but that it does not define our path.  I'm so glad I went to my reunion.  It was wonderful to see all the people I stalk online.  Seeing them in person made me appreciate them even more.  I am proud of my graduating class.  We became some pretty amazing people who are changing the world for the better.  My goal is to continue to reconnect with my former classmates because like I said, they are doing pretty amazing things.  Others are just really cool and would be fun to hang out with more.

I'm so glad I went to my 20 year reunion.  Even if I change significantly, I will still go to my 30 year.  I will still be enough as I am.  My goal for next time is to make it to the after party.

St. Robert Bellarmine, Pray for Us! Go Big Blue!

A Summer Synopsis So Far

With the exception of a trip to Hawaii for the adults, it's been a pretty slow summer.  The kids and I have gotten into a rhythm with morning swim lessons, soccer practice, earning screen time, etc.  Now that the kids are older, I feel less compelled to plan adventures.  My goal this summer is to let them be bored.

Robin has been a good sport about swim team practice.  He gets to hang with me while his siblings swim.  Generally, he brings a book to read and his special Pokemon lunchbox full of Pokemon action figures.  I don't play with him.  He gets to entertain himself.  I read a book or talk to other adults, occasionally peering over the balcony to watch the kids swim.

Piano lessons happen once a week.  We all sit in the living room of the school music teacher while Linus and Eileen each have a lesson.  Again, I don't entertain.  I'm surprised by how much I don't mind listening to the kids' lessons.  Both Eileen and Linus love their teacher's two cats.  They don't mind the dog too much.  Robin is less sure.

The afternoons typically involve reading, folding laundry, and playing outside. There has been a lot of reading by everyone.

We celebrated 4th of July with only a small amount of fanfare, a slow morning followed by the Edmonds Parade.

In the afternoon, we set up the slack line and used the hand crank to make ice cream.

My sister, Sally, and her new husband, Gino, as well as my parents came over.  We didn't even grill.  I made roasted brussel sprout salad and it was delicious.  Yard games were played.  We relocated to Sally's in order to watch the Kenmore fireworks.

It was a simple and quiet day.  Robin became a crazed maniac and went to bed early. I still woke the kids up for swim team in the morning.

Since then life has been quiet.  While I cleaned and reorganized the garage.  The kids played outside.

We reconnected with friends at the beach one afternoon.

Our beach day ended abruptly when Robin decided to throw a rock at another child (who we didn't know).  It hit the poor kid in the shoulder.  I apologized to the kid and parents and then packed us up.  Robin was not too pleased, but he got the message. 

We went to the zoo with some other friends.  We packed lunches and bought nothing.  Linus balked at first about being at the zoo.

I let him be the official photographer with my phone.  He took over 100 photos.  These are the only 3 that turned out.  At the end of the day, he admitted the trip had actually been really fun.

baby mountain goat

 Our friend had better luck taking pics of the kids.

One weekend afternoon, Dave gave us a tour of his work, Blue Origin. No pictures allowed!  Trust me when I say the place is cool.  It was really fun for the kids and me to not only see his workplace, but we got to learn about the Blue Origin space program.  

The work atmosphere at Blue Origin is a far cry from the school teacher experience.  They have a nice large kitchen stocked with snacks of all kinds (for free!) and there is a fridge with things like creamer and yogurt (for free!).  There are nice lounge areas to work besides your desk. I think it's that whole idea of work being such a pleasant place that you don't mind working a little longer.  

Today we met friends for donuts and a walk around the Edmonds Marsh and waterfront after swim team.  I was disappointed by the marsh boardwalk, but the morning itself was relaxing. We mainly walked, there was no "beach day" with beach toys and sandy kids.  The days are simply easier when spent with another mom and her kids.  So much less fighting.  They are also more willing to commiserate in their boredom.  Linus and another child found the whole thing lacking, I responded, "At least you have each other."  It was true.  They did and it was enough.

I've been surreptitiously turning on NPR when in the car to see if the kids notice.  Yesterday a really cool story about a haunted house came on and the kids were sucked into it.  We didn't get to hear the end.  Today they asked me to try and find it so we could finish listening to it.  With a little investigating, I found that we were listening to Snap Judgement and their series, "Campfire Tales."

The kids all stopped what they were doing to listen.

This is significant:

1. Campfire Tales is something we can all enjoy.

2. They sat quietly, listened intently, and did not touch one another.

3. Later in the car, all three started chanting, "NPR! NPR!"

In conclusion, my summer days are filled with swim team, swim lessons, soccer practice drop off, laundry, lots of reading, and occasional low key outings.  My mantra has been, "I will not entertain you."  Toys are now getting played with!  The kids are even playing together.  Linus asked for a slow summer.  I am happy to oblige.

From the Mouths of Babes in June

Upon my agreeing to let Linus dye his hair:

Linus: I don't think I'm a home hair color kind of kid.
Me: Um. No. All kids are home hair color kinds of kids.

On Robin's Camp Gallagher experience:

Robin:  This camp is nasty.
Me: Whaaaat!?!
Robin:  This camp is nasty.
Me: Do you think that because there are crabs and bees?
Robin:  Mm-hmm. (snuggles closer)

A friend watched our kids while we were gone in Maui.  She witnessed the following conversation.

Linus: In school we studied our heritage.

Friend: That's so cool. I bet I can guess at least two of the countries.

Linus: Okay, but my heritage is totally different from my sister's.

Eileen: That's because you shaved it and dyed it blue, but before we were the same.

Linus (completely exasperated) : Not hair a-stage... Heritage!

Eileen: I know that's what I said!