Easter

Easter kind of snuck up on me this year.  I've been literally lying around on the job.  In past years I've tried to plan fancy brunches and dinners, done festive things.  Not this year.  Luckily, I don't think the kids noticed, nor will they remember.

The kids went on a record number of egg hunts this year.  Last week they went to the one at Camp Don Bosco, followed immediately by egg hunts with the cousins.  Yesterday they went to an egg hunt at the Ballard Commons. The kids have been on a complete sugar high for days.  Normally, I've done an egg hunt at home.  We dyed eggs last weekend.  But come Easter morning, it just didn't seem necessary to go hide them.  I am so lame.  Linus did not notice. 

Linus hiding at the egg hunt.

The kids woke up this morning excited for their Easter baskets.  The Easter Bunny brought them their very first Peeps.  Eileen got a big shovel for backyard digging and Linus got a new fossil excavation kit.

Excited to try her first Peep.  She's a fan.

Dave and I decided to avoid the chaos, crowds, and lengthy waits of the children's mass.  We would have needed to get there 45 minutes early to guarantee a seat.  Instead, we opted for the 8:30 mass. We got there 20 minutes early and had our pick of seats.  Much better.   Everyone kept oohing over Eileen's cuteness.  As we walked past two of Linus' classmates, we heard one of them say, "I like Linus' little sister."  Linus was a good big brother during mass and even held her and snuggled her when I couldn't. 

While in our Easter finery, we snapped a few pictures.

It is hard to keep them from being silly.

The kids and Dave spent the rest of the day playing and enjoying the sun.  I returned to my spot on the couch.  I made some purple scrambled eggs (Linus request) and heated up cinnamon rolls for brunch so I did help a little.

Linus was kind enough to let Eileen join him excavating fossils.

It was a very low key Easter. I am so grateful the weather was beautiful and the kids weren't stuck in doors.  Sunny weather, birds chirping, and flowers blooming seems like a much better way to celebrate Christ's resurrection since it's supposed to be a happy occasion.  Rainy and dreary always feels a little less celebratory.  Next year I won't be confined to the couch.  I promise to go all out next year, or at least bother to hide the eggs.

From the Mouths of Babes in March

Eileen: I like it when Daddy plays guitar.  He's making good noise.

Eileen:  Oh no! I forgot to put my clothes on!

Eileen: (after bath) Look my nipples are dried up.

Linus:  I'll comb your hair Mommy.  It's a symbol of Jesus.

A Hiccup in the Plans

I've been anxious this whole pregnancy.  I tried to calm myself by saying that once I saw that baby at the 12 week ultrasound, I could start to feel better, relax and enjoy the pregnancy.

Tuesday Dave left work early to accompany me to my 12 week ultrasound.  It was beautiful.  It sucked is thumb and we counted ten fingers and clearly saw its little legs.  We left feeling happy and excited.  I believe my exact words were "I am on cloud 9."

Have you ever seen anything more beautiful?

 Since my mom was up babysitting we decided to take an early movie.  As I got ready for the previews I went to double check my phone and noticed a voicemail and it was from my doctor.  Surprised to hear from him, I went out to the lobby to call him back.  I was put right through.  It became apparent very quickly that he had bad news.

While the baby is healthy, I have a subchorionic hemmorhage (also known as a subchorionic hematoma).  It's blood between the placenta and uterus due to the placenta tearing partially away from the uterus and can cause miscarriage. The occur in 1-3% of pregnancies.  I tried to keep it together and ask questions, but it was hard.  We agreed I would come in to the office at the end of the week.  Because I had been gone so long, Dave came to check on me.  After hanging up with the doctor, I decided to just go back and the theater and found myself crying through the first twenty minutes of Burt Wonderstone, and then intermittently throughout.  Of course while I was on the phone with the doctor, the ultrasound pic Dave had been trying to upload onto Facebook loaded.  I spent the car ride home and most of the evening crying.

I tried to take it easy the past few days.  The kids are beginning to get annoyed with mama just laying on the couch.  This morning I went into the doctor.  The baby had a good strong heartbeat.  I learned that my hemorrhage is considered large which is bad.  The good news is I'm not bleeding.  If I can make it another 3 weeks to 15 weeks, my chances improve of having a successful pregnancy improve, but it could take longer for my body to heal itself.  In the meantime, I am supposed to take it very easy--no exercise, no lifting. The last one is easier said than done when you are a stay-at-home mom.

It's very difficult to have a frank discussion about a possibly impending miscarriage.  I managed to keep it together until I got in the car.  I do not know what I will do if I lose this baby.  I've always known I wanted a third baby.  If I lose the baby, I do not know if I can go through it again.  Losing a baby in early first trimester is hard enough, but once you've seen your baby--its heartbeat, little legs and hands, sucking a thumb--it's a completely different experience. How do you come back from so much loss?  It seems cruel after everything we've gone through trying to have a third, that we may lose everything now.

It's going to be a long three weeks, made harder by the fact that everyday Linus thanks me for the new baby.  I get to see the doctor every week while we monitor the situation and have another ultrasound in a week and half to see if there's been any change.  I talk to the baby regularly and tell it to hold on.  I pray to Mary to intercede on my behalf and give me strength.  Right now what I need are lots of prayers and playdates.  If anyone wants to borrow my minivan and my kids for a few hours, I won't stop you.  I promise they are generally well behaved and mostly potty trained.

Confession Time

It's time to come clean.  Despite considering myself to be a good little Catholic girl, I have not been doing a Lenten fast.  In fact, I've even been eating meat on Fridays. Gasp!  Oh, it feels so good to have that off my shoulders.  Okay, but really I have a good reason for abandoning those tenets of the Catholic faith.  I am pregnant.

I'll let that set in a little bit.  Yes, that is correct. I am pregnant, knocked up, with child, there is a bun in this oven.  I will be 11 weeks tomorrow. I am due October 1st.  I broke out the maternity pants today because I just couldn't face having a button pressing against me.

We told the kids last Thursday night, knowing that once Linus knew that the whole world would.  We took them out for ice cream at Bluebird.  I started out by mentioning how Mommy's been sick a lot and really tired and asked them if they wanted to know why.  We then told them we were going to have a baby.  Linus immediately put his hand to his mouth and exclaimed, "Wow! Cool."  And then went back to eating his ice cream.  Eileen didn't quite get it.  About ten minutes later, once the ice cream had been consumed and he had had time to process this new information, Linus exploded with excitement.

Linus is already visualizing life with a new baby.  He wants a boy, Eileen wants a baby.  According to him, it's name will be Junior, boy or girl.  He will throw it a surprise birthday party and for Halloween it will be a caterpillar.  Linus quickly realized that the birth would require childcare and he immediately had an answer, "Wait! Someone will need to take care of us.  I know--Uncle Tim.  He's the greatest! I love him so much. Too much."  So Uncle Tim, if you're reading this, let me know.  Linus continues to thank me every day for having a baby.

For those of you who have been following my saga, this pregnancy has been a true blessing.  After having difficulty conceiving, we miscarried in October.  I was devastated.  Eventually, I decided that I just wanted to move forward.  Unfortunately, my fertility doctor discovered several large cysts.  While not harmful, it prevented them from using any fertility treatments.

After shedding a few tears and developing a very negative attitude I decided to press forward.  For once my body decided to cooperate and work the way it was supposed to.  I had some progesterone hanging around from the last pregnancy and decided to take it to help things along (my acupuncturist also thought it was a good idea).  I was stunned when I had a positive test.

Even though I conceived without her help, my fertility doctor monitored me closely, ie lots of blood draws and ultrasounds.  Dave came to the second ultrasound, the one that the last time had revealed a miscarriage.  Clutching his hand tightly, I burst into tears when we saw a heartbeat. Even though I wasn't close with my fertility doctor, I cried and hugged her at my last visit with her.

Now I'm seeing my regular doctor and am starting to own this pregnancy.  The kids' excitement has made it easier to get excited, although I'm constantly afraid I will miscarry at any moment.  This pregnancy has been a lot easier in terms of puking.  Where with Linus, I puked all day everyday for nine months, this time I am only mildly sick.  Life is a lot easier when your head isn't continually in a toilet.  I'm just so grateful for this baby and I am trying to savor this pregnancy because I am pretty sure I am done after this. 

And now I have confessed everything.

The Puddle Formerly Known as Eileen

This is the puddle formerly known as Eileen.

 Eileen, used to look like this.

A happy, easy going child.  Eileen was happy to snuggle and go along with whatever the plan was as long as she was included.  Eileen turned two in November.  She began asserting some independence but nothing major.  We wondered if maybe we would escape the terrible twos.  Apparently not, it was just slowly building momentum.

This past weekend Eileen kicked the terrible twos into full gear.  O.M.G.  She is a whiny mess who has forgotten how to speak in a normal voice.  Anything not to her immediate satisfaction is met with a full on melt down.  There are no small events, only major catastrophies in her world.

Yesterday, she was in full meltdown mode from 9 am until 4:30 pm.  It was a long day but by the end I was trying not to laugh.  She gets so worked up that she throws herself to the ground, tries to get back up, only to fall down again.  Repeat about 20 times.  Finally, she is crying so hard she can barely breath and consents to just be held.  At which point I can make out the sound, "on" and she keeps pointing to my mouth.  This means she wants me to sing a song with my mouth. So pathetic.  As soon as she is calm, she remembers what upset her in the first place and repeats the tantrum. Soooo ridiculous.

Eileen in a moment of vertical-ness.

We didn't deal with this with Linus.  He was born with a naughty streak and started in timeout at the ripe old age of 14 months.  He is used to being told no.  Sure he has tantrums, less often these days, but never of quite the epic proportions of Eileen. 

I am hoping this phase leaves as quickly as it entered.  Otherwise it may be time to invest in a mop and some ear plugs.  Time to go wipe the puddle up off the floor...

Mustaches and the Mouths of Babes in February

As part of dressing like a man, Linus stressed his need for a mustache.  I happened to find some the other day.  He was pleased and took himself very seriously.

The babes provided lots of good quotes this month....

Me:  Let's go. Chop chop.
Linus: Timmm-berrrr!

Linus: love it! (sung it a high voice)

Eileen:  Yah sure

Linus:  Studying is not just a thing of the ancient past.  Ya know?

Linus:  I'm counting in my heart.  That's why I didn't say it out loud.

Linus:  Is that what you're wearing?
Me: Um yeah.  Is that okay?
Linus:  You look beautiful!

Linus:  We should get this cereal--it's called cocoa pebbles.  It's part of a complete breakfast.

**Eileen for her part has taken to using volcano and ninja to describe things, ie. volcano poops, volcano jump, ninja reading, etc.  Ninja also appears to be some sort of imaginary friend.

A couple of more pics of the the Schnitzel.

Frog after bath

Eileen insists on lying down on the stool while doing her business.  If that's what she requires to be potty trained, I'm happy to comply. 

In Search of Snow

It has been decidedly un-snowy this winter.  I know other places in Puget Sound have seen a little snow but Seattle has not.  I believe I saw it snow ever so slightly for about 10 minutes one afternoon but that's about it.  While it makes me a little sad, lack of snow can be devastating for children so young.  Today we headed out to the Snoqualmie Pass with our PEPs friends.

If you've never been,  just east of the Summit at Snoqualmie ski area is a much cheaper place to go sledding/sno-shoeing/cross country skiing.  At the Hyak exit, for the mere cost a daily sno-park permit ($20) and you Discover pass you can enjoy some snow play.  Over the years the sledding has been made a little safer.  They now have the sides for walking back up the hill marked off and there is even a staff member lining up sledders in rows and timing them down the hill so it is significantly less chaotic than it used to be.

The kids hit the slopes running.  We did a couple of trial runs on the bunny slope before going down the big hill.

Linus was quick to show his bravery his first time down.

Look mom, no hands!

Eileen went down with a parent the first few times before braving the bunny slope solo.

sibling love

building a snow fort while being pummeled with snowballs from Eileen

If you look closely, you will see Eileen has a snowball in hand and is making a sneak attack on Linus.

While building the fort two boys around age 9 started throwing snowballs at them.  Instead of getting upset, Linus and Dave engaged them and had a pretty solid snowball fight.  The boys tried to take cover behind a sled.  As much as he liked sledding, Linus actually preferred playing in the snow.  Eileen could not get enough of sledding.  She and Dave went down the big hill countless times.  She did a pretty good job walking back up the hill.

After a full morning of sledding and a filling lunch at a Mexican restaurant in North Bend, Eileen and I collapsed into sleep for meaty naps while Linus and Dave continued their ninja training.    Everyone will sleep well tonight.  It's really too bad we only go sledding once a year.