From the Mouths of Babes in February

Me: No you can't have gum right now.
Eileen:  You're not in charge.  God's in charge.  You will never be in charge!!

Eileen:  I'm not mad at you.  My tummy is mad at you.

(Dave farts)
Robin: Dada fart. (pulls at Dave's waistband and peeks behind) Poop? Nope.

Linus:  What's a buffet?
Me: (explains the wonder and joy that was King's Table in the 1980s)
Linus:  That sounds amazing.

The gang

The Harried Housewife

Many days I feel like a whirling dervish.  Between subbing, teaching, getting kids to and from extracurriculars, cooking meals, bathing kids, putting kids to bed, lots and lots of laundry, dishes, doctor appointments, and lesson planning I feel like I'm starting to lose myself a little.  Maybe it's not surprising that I got sick over the weekend.

I haven't been sick like this in years.  I'm finally getting my voice back.  Dave was busy working so I begged my mom to take the big kids.  I threw money and a Starbucks gold card at her and said, "Just take them out of the house."  While I slept, the big kids checked out archaeology day at the Burke Museum.  Then they had lunch at Starbucks and headed to the movies.  Robin did his part by taking a 3 hr+ nap.

I've been starting to feel slightly overworked (yes I realize I need to start saying no).  I wonder if Dave appreciates how easy he has it (just one job with long hours, but comes home to clean house, folded laundry, kids in bed, with his dinner waiting for him).  I found myself remembering an old Goofy cartoon.

I love that you can find anything on YouTube.

All I can say is, "Where is my milkman kiss?"  I pay good money for Smith Brothers.  Don't worry. I'm looking forward to some relaxing time off in the very near future.

Kids and Presidents Day

Me before kids:  "Wooh!  It's Presidents.  No school.  No work.  Sleep sleep sleep.  Law & Order Marathon.  Quick trip out of town? Sure why not."

Me with kids:  "I hate long weekends.  How am I going to survive?"

It's President's Day.  There is no school.

Friday was a half day.  It was all sorts of crazy making.  I started subbing Linus' first grade class.  I'll be there for a week and a half while his teacher is on vacation.  I also had the responsibility of teaching 6th grade.  Friday it poured down rain.  There was a fire drill.  There were lots of children, hopped up on sugar, counting down seconds until the Valentine's day celebration.  All this, and they want me to take my kids home 3 hours early!?!

I actually brought an additional two kids home with me. So I had 4 children, hopped up on sugar, and one sleeping toddler for the afternoon.  The kids played hard without me so that was good.  I did my part by taking lots of deep breaths and reading People magazine to decompress.  I slept easy Friday night.

Saturday I spent 5 hours grading and prepping for my math class.  There's a lot to figure out and I've now made a lot of headway.  Dave was kind enough to occupy the kids while I stayed holed up in my room working.

Dave and I hate crowds and fixed menus.  Being a recovering world's pickiest eater, fixed menus rarely have more than one thing I would consider eating and often none.  We thought we were being smart by going on the night before Valentine's day.  We were wrong.  The new McMenamins was booked in all the restaurants.  We headed to Scotts--all booked and they were already sporting the fixed menu. Grrr.  We threw our hands up and decided to head to Ballard.  With so many options there, someone had to have room.

Ballard was meant to be.  We found parking without trouble.  Root Table, our first choice had no wait, and fun new items to try.  OMG the chicken bruschettia is good.  We then noticed a fun new place across the street, Pie Bar.  It is exactly like it sounds.  It serves slices of pie a la mode along with a couple of savory pies, and drinks.  There were at least three pages full of choices.  Our tummies left satisfied.

Valentine's day.  I tried to make the dining table cute and festive.  Dave and I decided to finally join the rest of the world and buy an ipad for the family. Linus hasn't been so happy in a long time. Robin found the apps to be hysterical.

Aunt Sally came over to bake a cake with the kids to celebrate her birthday and Valentine's day.

Today I knew we needed to leave the house.  The kids furthered this notion by being up at 6 am. Luckily, I have found a kindred spirit at school (also a middle school math teacher).  We met up with Katie, Rylan, and Declan at the zoo.  It was wet and we didn't see much of the zoo.  However, we did successfully exhaust the children.

Sometimes I think Katie and I share a brain.

The weekend thus far has been a combination of sugar, tears, fights, quiet play,  poop explosions, and a little adventure.  There has been zero binge tv watching. Extra sleep has been missing too.  I still have one more day to go of the long weekend.  Is it wrong that I'm looking forward to getting a blood draw tomorrow because it means I get to be by myself and run a few errands?

Mixed Messages from the Universe

I thought I left my teaching career behind when Eileen was born.  I resigned my position and swore I would never teach again.  During my last few years of teaching I was the victim of bullying three times, twice by different staff and once by a group of students.  Despite my many accomplishments in the classroom, I felt beaten down by the system.  Having two young children at home made the decision to leave teaching a little easier.

Last year our lives changed in unexpected ways.  My parents moved close.  While bringing some additional financial cost to our lives, it also added the opportunity for flexible childcare.  These days it's hard to imagine my life without the childcare help I receive from my parents.  Moving out of Seattle also meant switching schools for the kids.  It was a hard choice at the time.  In order to provide more financial support, I needed to work.  Suddenly, that teaching certificate didn't look like such a waste of time and money.

Over the past year I rediscovered a passion for teaching while substitute teaching.  I love going to work with my kids and coming home with them at the end of the day.  I even have additional childcare help from another mom who picks Robin up at school in the morning and brings him back in the afternoon.  I love my kids' school.  The teachers are great.  The community is so inviting.  By making the huge choice to sell our house and move, our lives became so much more fulfilling.

As I immersed myself in substitute teaching, the principal noticed me.  The school is growing, which means there is a need to offer a greater variety of academic options.  It became evident that a teacher was needed to teach a section of geometry/algebra II.  I'm not certified to teach algebra II, but as luck would have it, one of the 6th grade teachers is qualified.  The principal approached me about teaching a section of 6th grade math.  Not only did he offer me a job, he was willing to work around my not wanting to work on Thursdays due to Robin's needs as well as the fact that I will be taking a vacation at the beginning of March.  It was strange to suddenly be in a position where I was valued and wanted.

It didn't take much thought for me to accept the position.  Okay universe I get it.  All the stars are lined up perfectly.  I'm supposed to be back in the classroom.  Or am I......
.
Today was my first day.  I think it went well.  It seemed like the kids were buying what I was selling.  And then I went home.  I thought my morning might include a trip to Starbucks or HomeGoods.  How very wrong I was.

I walked in the door.  Robin greeted me and indicated his back hurt.  Then he was very subdued and snuggly.  As I held him, I looked down and saw that there was blood all over me and all over Robin.  He had a bloody nose.  We cleaned him up, but then all he wanted to do was lay on the carpet.  Robin did not move or make noise for about 45 minutes.  He wouldn't respond to my mother or I.  Eventually, he came around a little, but still only wanted to lay on the floor.  It was scary.  I called the doctor.  This level of lethargy without a fever was alarming.  He advised me to take Robin to Children's ER.

Robin and I spent the rest of the day in the ER.  He was a trooper and only complained when he got an IV (standard procedure so they only have to do one poke) in order to get a blood count.

Robin is okay.  His cerebral palsy diagnosis meant that they took extra care with him.  The doctors think the bloody nose is probably just from the sudden warm weather today.  He may also be starting to come down with something.  For now, we are supposed to keep an eye on him and note if there are any more incidences, bleeding, or bruising.

As I sat in the ER with Robin, I could not help but notice that this happened the day I went back to work.  The day!  So apparently while the universe is trying to tell me to go back to teaching, it wants to also remind me that I better not take a full time job because Robin needs his mama.

Thank you universe for all your messages.  Perhaps you could include some footnotes for clarification?

From the Mouths of Babes in January

Dave:  Do you want to read a book?
Eileen: (whines) Reading books is awkward!

Eileen:  I knew you were going to say that!  Did I blow your mind?

Eileen:  You got a treat and I got a treat.  We both got treats.  Yay us!

Robin:  Mama no go teach.  (sound of mama's heart breaking into 1,000 pieces)

Me:  You need to use a pencil on your homework.
Eileen:  If I don't use crayon no one will see my lovely letters!!! (collapses on floor in puddle)

Linus:  I'm really mad at you right now.  I'm going to think a really bad word word right now.  I'm going to do it.  I'm starting to think it....

 They were playing nicely together.  It involved a rental car company.

A Diagnosis for Robin

I first started to suspect something was amiss when Robin was 6 months old.  At his 9 month check up I decided to not worry until he reached a year.  We learned that Robin was officially developmentally delayed at just over a year, but we did not know why.  Over the past year we have met with immunologists, endocrinologists, and neurodevelopmentalists at Children's Hospital.  He has received occupational and speech therapy from the folks at Wonderland. We've danced at Nurturing Pathways, a brain development movement class.  Robin has worked hard and made many gains, but no one could quite put a finger on what was going on with our little bird.

 On Friday Robin underwent an MRI.  The possibility of doing the test was tossed around for 6 months before it was finally ordered.  I was nervous going into the test.  Luckily, one of our PEPs friends used to be a pediatric anesthesiologist at Children's.  She reassured me and walked me through what would happen.  It was so helpful because Robin needed me to be strong.  That doesn't mean I managed to not shed a few tears when I had to walk away from Robin after he was sedated.  Somehow the doctor's cheerful British accent made everything seem just a little bit better.

Before they put him under,  the anesthesiologist gave Robin his mask to inspect.  We chose a lovely strawberry scent.

 Robin was very brave.  He came out of anesthesia much more nicely than when he had tubes.

The results came in pretty quickly.  Robin's neurodevelopmentalist called us that night.  She didn't want us to go into the weekend without knowing.  Robin's MRI showed he has a brain injury.  She didn't tell me much on the phone.  I'm glad she called because it gave me to time process and formulate questions to ask.

This morning Dave took the morning off from work so he could accompany Robin and I to the MRI followup appointment.  The doctor showed us the imaging from the MRI.  You could see a small subtle area of lightness indicating injury.  Interestingly, the injury is on the left side.  Robin tends to be weaker on his left side, which would suggest something wrong with the right side of the brain.  The injury shows that at some point Robin's brain was deprived of oxygen.  We may never know when it happened, maybe when I had the subchorionic hemorrhage, maybe when he started having trouble during delivery.

The doctor told us that this brain injury gives us a diagnosis--cerebral palsy.

My eyes filled with tears, but I managed to keep it together. I'm so glad Dave was there with me.  Robin has a mild form of cerebral palsy.  On a level of 1-5 classification, he is a one.  Normally, you see hypertonia (the tight muscles that make it hard to move and cause people to hold themselves differently).  Robin has hypotonia, low tone.

Getting a diagnosis is a relief.  There is an explanation for his differences, his struggles.  There is a label for the health insurance companies.  There is a way for educators to understand his needs in a school setting.  I can see more clearly how to set him up for success and navigate life's obstacles.  People can understand the term cerebral palsy versus me trying to explain his challenges and delays.  Robin can pretty much cross playing football off the list of things to do.  One brain injury is enough in a lifetime.

I'm still wrapping my head around everything. He is still the same sweet little boy.  The rational me knows it's not my fault that his precious brain was injured.  But I'm a mama.  It was my job to bring him into this world safely.  The only thing I can do is love him and do what I can to make sure he doesn't let this diagnosis hold him back from achieving great things. 

This Robin bird has wings and he will soar!

The Slow Slog of January

      Is it just me or is January creeping by at a ridiculously slow pace?  How is it not February yet?  The first few days were glorious.  I shipped the kids off to school, fell back into an afternoon routine of homework and extra-curriculars, reminded my body what going to the gym felt like, and had a massage.  It all felt so refreshing.  The last day of chill was Thursday, January 7th.
      Since that fateful day I have been living with two over tired beasts.  I'm pretty sure the neighbors thought a family of banshees had taken up residence listening to our group trying to get into the car to go to karate practice.
      My evenings have been filled creating my yearly blog book.  I decided to go a step further and transfer all of the photos from our lives before the blog starting with Linus' birth and put them into an additional two books.  I spent many hours working on the books.  It was fun reminiscing over the past year as well as looking at pictures of sweet little babies.  I miss those babies.  I'm beginning to wonder if there has been some sort of invasion of the body snatchers in my house and the children I'm currently living with aren't actually the ones I gave birth to.
      This weekend I got motivated and decided to purge and reorganize the boys' room.  I even convinced Dave to go to IKEA with me.  I was surprised by Linus' willingness to go through his stuff and get rid of things.  I'm so glad to be part of an awesome Buy Nothing group.  I was quickly able to unload a ton of stuff.  I took a big step and even gave away the crib mattress and toddler bedding.  It was like ripping off a bandaid.  Nothing is more invigorating than purging and reorganizing a room even if it means closing the door a little more on babies.
    Yesterday was a loooong day with the kids.  Rough does not begin to describe it and I was so glad when it was over and the kids were all in bed early.  I was determined to make today, a non-school day, better.  All three kids slept in today.  The kids haven't believed me when I told them they were really needing more sleep and everything would just be better if they slept.  We then went and played at the Swing Set showroom and ran off some energy, followed by naps for everyone.  In better moods, the kids self-entertained with all the cardboard left over from IKEA.  That's right.  I provided no help.
     It's hard to see but Eileen is drawing horses (they turned out pretty impressive) so the 3 of them could ride around the house on them.

 Some larger boxes were used to create castles.  Eileen preferred Linus' to hers.  Not shown is the giant soldier drawn on the box, guarding the back of his castle.

 Eileen didn't know the password for entry so Linus was whispering it to her.

I ended the day baking applesauce muffins for breakfast in the morning with Eileen and Robin.  I am hoping that the kids will remember that they had a mom who baked with them and not just a mom who constantly made crazy eyes at them and tried to to not lose her cool. 

Oh January I need you to move just a smidge faster.  I can't handle anymore long days of winter.  I can't rely on trips to IKEA.