Two toddlers, one mama, and the dentist

Today I woke up stressed.  Not only did I need to get the crock-pot going in preparation for hosting my book club tonight, but an appointment made six months ago on the calendar had finally arrived.  It didn't seem like a big deal at the time to schedule both kids for the dentist.   Of course, back then Linus didn't only nap intermittently and Eileen couldn't even crawl.

I was nervous when we got to the dentist.  Eileen was quiet, serious, and attached--not the qualities I look for when I know I will be laying her down in a stranger's lap and letting them inspect her teeth.  I envisioned Linus crying because he didn't want to stop playing, crawling wildly over things, pulling/pushing Eileen, maybe even biting, needing lots of management.  I was certain Eileen would cry and I would find myself holding her down while she glared back at me in betrayal.  By the end, I would need a stiff drink and a nap.

Instead, Linus hopped up on the chair and immediately opened his mouth.  He didn't even flinch when they cleaned his teeth.  When the hygienist was done, he went over to the toy area and played quietly while waiting for his turn with the dentist.  Eileen was quiet.  There were some questioning looks, but no tears, no flailing.  She patiently let both the hygienist and dentist look at her teeth.  The whole thing was almost surreal. And in case you were wondering, my kids both had perfect check-ups and didn't inherit my small mouth so they both have lots of room for their teeth.

I took the kids out to lunch as a treat.  Linus' choice: Burgermaster.  He recently learned that Burgermaster puts candy (smarties) in the kids meal.  He's sold.

I can't recommend Greenlake Kids Dentistry enough.

Eileen was a big fan of her new big girl toothbrush and wouldn't put it down.  She's also a big fan of hats.

Tennis Anyone?

Waaaay back in September Linus used to tell me he was going to get me a tennis racket for my birthday.  He made good on his promise and gifted me with a tennis racket and balls for my birthday in October.  Linus also picked up a racket for himself.    In order to keep everyone safe, the tennis rackets were moved to our garage and have sat there for several months now.

We finally brought the tennis rackets out of storage.   Linus and Dave broke them in last week while I was in Nebraska.  Dave put it in Linus' head today that even though it was only in the upper 30s, it would be really fun to go play tennis with Mommy.  These days Linus' memory is like a steel trap and once he hears something, he doesn't let it go.  So with the sun shining and the wind blowing, we all headed to Greenlake to play a little tennis after nap.

I don't know how to play tennis.  I am really awful at Wii tennis.  Luckily, this doesn't matter to a three year old.  Eileen was just excited to be outside.

Did I mention that Eileen finally started walking this past week?

Ready for action

There was some serious action on the court.  Andy Roddick look out!

We had a great time.  Linus did manage to score on me.  The brutally cold wind drove us back indoors after only a short while. I will be demanding a re-match as soon as it warms up a little bit.

Decision Made!

It's been years in the making but today I submitted my official letter of resignation to my school district.  I purposely dropped the letter in one of the blue mailboxes so I could not change my mind.  Really though,  I made this decision months ago.

I never pictured myself as a stay at home mom.  I held a lot of stereotypes, not all of them good even though I know many amazing stay at home moms. Since I was a little girl, I always saw myself as a working mom--loving, doting mother at home, a force to be reckoned with in the workplace.   Of course I also envisioned myself as an accountant, dentist, and gorilla all in one, so what did I know?

Having Linus was one of the most intense, life changing experiences of my life from the journey to conceive to a challenging pregnancy and delivery, to just the adjustment to parenthood.  I took a health leave from teaching in September.  Linus was born in October.  I stayed home for the rest of the school year.  I went back part time the next year and loved it, although I made no money.  We conceived Eileen in the meantime.  I don't like working while pregnant, especially when the bathroom is across campus.  Eileen was born in November.  I stayed home the rest of the school year with plans to go back the following school year.

I desperately tried to cherish every moment, while agonizing over going back to work.  It would have to be full time to afford the childcare.  Envisioning our lives with me working full time was enough to send me into a panic.  Still, I looked around me at all the amazing working moms and felt that if they could do it, I could too.  As summer approached I realized that I needed to take a second year off.  I wasn't ready to pump at work or try to balance work and home.

It was weird to not start the school year.  By October I had a sneaking suspicion that I might give up my job.  God bless unions for giving teachers two years per child.  I have needed that long to be at peace with my decision.  Life with me at home is less stressful, not that it is all rainbows and sunshine.  My kids are happy.  I am happy.  My husband likes that I learned to sew and have been learning fun and new recipes, and he especially likes when I use my mini pie maker.

I love teaching, or really the idea of teaching.  I hate where the current education discussion is going and it makes it less of something that I want to be a part of. I don't want to get on my soapbox, but everyone making the decisions has never been in the classroom.  Why is it that having a Masters in Teaching makes you the least qualified to provide an opinion!?!

I do plan to go back to work eventually in a few years, but I don't know if it will be as a classroom teacher. Over the next year I need to take 7.9 credits in order to keep my certificate current.  I've tried to put all my ducks in a row, but I am still not sure what I am supposed to do with my retirement fund.

I worry about losing myself.  Sometimes being a stay at home mom is very lonely.  I'm friendly with the other moms at baby and toddler classes, but it's not the same.  I want to do volunteer work to stir my passions while building my job skills, but that will have to wait until I don't have to pay a sitter in order to have time.   Even if I am sure that giving up my contract is the right decision, I feel like I am stepping off a cliff.  I've made Dave promise he won't leave me.  He suggested I could just off him and collect the insurance (he was joking obviously).

As of March 1, 2012, I begin a new chapter in my life.  I haven't yet begun to grieve my loss of identity.  I think that will hit in September, when I am no longer just a teacher on leave.

With Love From Nebraska

Eileen and I flew to Nebraska over Presidents' Day Weekend to celebrate my dear friend, Heather's, birthday.  Heather moved to a small town, Central City, three years ago and this was my first trip to the Midwest.

I love Heather.  She is an amazing friend and we always seem to be able to pick up right where we left off.  I pray every day that she comes to her senses and moves back to the Pacific Northwest.  In the meantime, I felt I owed it to her to see this strange foreign world that she now calls home.

First things first.  Nebraska is flat and full of two lane highways.  It's like driving through eastern Washington and yet never seeing a hill.  No Spokane rises out of the dust.  No trees, no mountains, no rivers, but lots of farm equipment.  I saw more trains in four days than I have seen in several years.  The trains ran right behind Heather's apartment and prevented sleep my first night.  The large semi trucks that drove through town caused the building to rumble like an earthquake.

My first morning there I about had a heart attack when the town siren went off, fearing I was about to encounter my first tornado.  Turns out the siren sounds every day at specific times to let the farmers know what time it is.

Eating out was interesting.  The fine dining restaurant in town had gizzards on the menu.  Salads are iceberg lettuce mixes with crackers on the side.  There were no oil and vinegar dressings.  Breakfasts do not come with the option of fresh fruit and dinners don't have vegetables on the side.  This is meat and potato country.  Even more shocking was that restaurants used folding tables and chairs.  Many of the restaurants felt more like church parish halls than restaurants.  The food was filling, simple, and unpretentious.  Of course I made sure to visit the Dairy Queen since there are none in Seattle. 

Saturday night we went out to the local watering hole.  Heather plays in a dart league.  It was my first time in an F.O.E. lodge.  I was introduced to shuffleboard, which I rocked.  The drink of choice for many locals was "red beer."  It's a combination of beer and tomato juice.  Budweiser even sells it in a can--bud light and clamato.  Yuck.

The locals made a serious impression on me.  People don't lie when they talk about Midwest hospitality, even the TSA people were helpful.  Nebraska folk were the exact opposite of the Seattle freeze.  I felt embraced immediately.  While I don't think I exactly fit in, everyone's friendliness put me at ease.

With everything 30 miles or more away, car naps were an essential part of the trip.

 While Eileen and I were gone, Dave and Linus did "guy stuff."  Dave created a map to help Linus choose activities.  It looks like they had a very full four days.

Eileen did great on the flight to Nebraska.  Our trip home was one giant nightmare.  During our flight from Grand Island, NE to Dallas, TX,  Eileen screamed bloody murder the whole time.  My ears wouldn't pop during the last twenty minutes, With 15 minutes left on the flight and Eileen flailing and screaming, I proceeded to make good use of the vomit bag.  It was horrible and only a foreshadowing of what was to come.

Our flight out of Dallas was delayed and over booked.  Gates were changed, planes were changed.  When we boarded the plane, I learned we would be sitting in the middle seat between two men, one of whom was easily over 350 pounds and flowing over into our seat.  It gets worse.

After a runway delay,  Eileen pooped during take off but there was some turbulence so no one could get up.  After 20 minutes, Eileen's diaper situation was bad enough for me to flaunt the flight attendants and changed her.  We endured more light turbulence while the pilot kept saying, just another 12 minutes, just another 100 miles.  Suddenly, about an hour into the flight we hit massive turbulence.  The plane began to buck all over the place.  I burst into tears.  People screamed.  I have never never been so scared.  The bucking continued for about 5 minutes.  Afterwards, my two seatmates tried to comfort me.  When Eileen got fussy, one gave her his I-pad to play with.  During the whole trip Eileen never slept even as the night wore on and it was well past bedtime.  The turbulence never really stopped.  There was only a brief time when they let passengers use the bathroom.  People clapped when we finally landed and the woman behind me yelled, "Praise the Lord!"  As we filed off the plane, the pilot joked about roller coasters and the fun ride.

My nerves are shot.  Next time I go to Nebraska, I'm bringing Dave with me.

15 months and other stuff

It's been a CRAZY week and during it, my baby turned 15 months.  Life has been very full recently.  Dave and I are playing soccer on Monday nights.  Tuesday night was Valentine's day. The kids and I cut out hearts to decorate the table and used my mini pie maker to make chocolate cheesecake pies with raspberries and whipped cream.  It was all very festive.  Last night Dave and I celebrated Valentine's Day late and had an amazing dinner at La Spiga on Capital Hill before taking in a show at the Seattle Rep.

What has added to the craziness is Eileen has another ear infection.  She had been a little grumpy recently and then Sunday, while driving to Carnation, Eileen projectile vomited all over the van.  It was all sorts of awesomeness.  Linus declared the van smelled like a quesadilla.  Dave took one for the team and both bathed Eileen and cleaned up the car once we got to Carnation.  If that's not a testament to his love, I don't know what is.  A visit to the doctor on Monday confirmed the ear infection.  I let the chiropractor adjust her on Tuesday.  Luckily, Eileen loves amoxicillan.  Tomorrow Eileen and I are flying by ourselves to Nebraska.  I'm anxious about the flight, but glad her ear infection is on the mend and I think all the other passengers on the plane will be too.

So here are the stats at 15 months:
Weight: 23 pounds  50th percentile
Height: 30.75 inches   60th percentile
Head Circumference: 18.5 inches   80th percentile

After a chiropractic adjustment a few weeks ago, Eileen started sleeping 11 hours straight! (The adjustments are to help with her ear infections) She isn't walking yet, although she once took 20 steps.  Most days, she'll take 3 steps at a time.  She may be the world's fastest crawler.  I try not to worry too much, every day she is more willing to try walking.  Eileen loves to climb, turn off lights, sit in chairs, eat other people's food, and do whatever her brother is doing.  Eileen is doing a great job communicating.  She has 15 signs and 22 words. 

For his part, Linus is still his silly, mischievous self.  He loves dress up and puzzles. During a recent trip to the Firehouse, Linus displayed his unique sense of self.  He wanted not just a mustache, but a green one.

Eat your heart out Tom Selleck!

So life is full.  A good full.  The kids continue to love each other, although sometimes that love still hurts a little bit.

Conflict Avoidance

I hate conflict.  I avoid it at all costs.  You may recall that a few months ago my hairdresser was complaining about how much she hated cutting my hair.  Instead of giving her a few choice words, I quietly took it and then found a new salon, never calling the old one to give them a whats up. 

Like everybody else, I got bullied as a kid.  I just put my head down and hoped if I made myself small enough, they would just stop and go away.  When a yogurt was thrown at me and covered my back in high school, I just looked sad, wiped myself down, and tried to go on.  It was a survival technique I employed, afraid that if I said something I would sound weak or stupid.

My freshman year in college, I was subjected to a barrage of cruelty by my suite mate.  I tried in vain to ignore it, but that only frustrated my tormentor, causing her to increase her measures of abuse.   It was perhaps the hardest 3 months of my life--the suite mate was finally transferred to another room.  When I look back at my fall quarter freshman year, I just want to shake myself for not being a stronger advocate.  In the end, I did get an apology from the university.  If I ever write my memoirs, I could easily fill a book with all that occurred during that freshman year.

Enough sob story.  I'm a lucky to have a good friend in my life is regularly encourages me to stand up for myself.  If I won't send back a wrong food order, she'll do it for me.  Poorly crafted latte--she insists they remake it.  I admire my friend, Colleen, and I can tell she is starting to rub off on me a little.  At 32, I am finally learning to assert myself.

So now, the point of this email.  I am feeling a little proud of myself because I have actually said something twice in two days when I was bothered by something.  This is a big deal for me.

Linus has been doing gymnastics at the community center for the past two months.  The first month, I had him in a younger class.  I did not expect much.  I just wanted him to have a good time.  The equipment is a little battered, but that was fine.  I was not overly impressed with the coach.  She was a nice girl, but unprofessional to say the least and put little effort into instructing the class.  I appreciated that she didn't mind that Eileen climbed on the equipment not in use.  I tried moving Linus up a class to see if things improved.  They didn't.  The kids were bored and acted out.  The difficulty never progressed and Linus started asking to go back to soccer.  The other parents also were making plans to not re-enroll.  Then on Monday there was a sub.  She was AMAZING!!! It was a completely different class.  I marveled at her management  and teaching strategies.  The kids were learning actual terminology.  After the first 5 minutes of class, no kids acted out, and every kid was engaged.  To top it off, these were 3 and 4 year olds.  After class, all the parents rushed the substitute coach, trying to find out where she taught.  She seemed a little taken aback by our response.  As we were leaving the building, I made a point to talk to one of the managers of the community center.  I felt they really needed to know why no one was re-enrolling in the class.  Normally, I never would have said anything.  As a teacher,  I really try to give instructors the benefit of the doubt.  But after seeing the potential of the class, I could not stay silent.  I felt strangely proud for totally selling that coach down river.

Then today, again I decided to not settle for less.  We hire a yard service who comes every other week to maintain a yard.  They do a really really good job, better than our previous yard people.  They are supposed to come in the morning at 8:15, yet never have.  When I hired them, I asked that they not come in the afternoon because it disrupts nap.  After the first time that they came during nap, I politely talked to the owner to stress the importance of coming in the morning.  Today they came in the middle of the afternoon.  Linus and Eileen just cried for 2 hours instead of sleeping.  No one was happy.  Instead of just hoping it wouldn't happen again, I sent the owner a sternly worded email.  We'll see what he says.

I realize that these instances over the past two days may seem like a small deal to many, but it represents growth for me.  I have to remind myself that I am worthy of good things, I don't have to settle for substandard, especially when I am paying for services.  I still struggle to mention when my order gets messed up.  I just want to be a good role model for my kids.  I don't want them to be bitchy jerks, but to know that it's okay to want to be treated with dignity and respect, and wanting your order to be correct does not make you a bad person.

Sleepover, Cakes Pops, and Super Bowl

It was a busy weekend to say the least.  Saturday night Linus hosted his first official sleepover.

His good friend, August, spent the night.  Linus and August have known each other since their gestational days.  August's mom, Emily, and I met in a prenatal yoga class.  Maybe it was bonding during the soothing yoga movements, but August and Linus both have lots of energy and wild imaginations.  The combination can make for some exhausting playdates.

Pizza/movie night quickly gave way to dress up.  It was one of those nights when I really appreciated our ever growing costume box.  There were knights and dragons, super heroes, snails and butterflies, and countless others.  Doctor was by far their favorite.

Dr. August

Linus was ill with a terrible case of hippos in his stomach. Emergency surgery was needed.

The boys wound down with puzzles.

The boys went to bed pretty easily.  After 20 minutes of silence, Dave and I were treated to a hilarious conversation via the baby monitor.  We listened as August repeatedly peppered Linus with the question of "Why?"  We couldn't help but smile as August gave Linus a taste of his own medicine.

Eileen's favorite part of the sleepover was the inflatable toddler bed August used.  Eileen loves to play on beds and flop on soft things.

To our enormous relief, the boys slept a solid 11 hours.  There were no tears, no wake ups.  It was awesome.  In the morning there was more dress up and a trip to Golden Gardens to play on the ropes and pirate ship.

A sleepover alone would make for a fun an exciting weekend, but this was no ordinary weekend.  Today was the Super Bowl.  In anticipation of the Super Bowl party with our PEPs friends, I decided to attempt my first cake pop.  I found a recipe for football cake pops and decided to give them a try.   In case you were wondering, cake pops are time consuming and not easy.  Many cake pops were lost along the way.  Out of an original 28, 16 survived.

They tasted pretty good, like a ding dong without the creamy center.  The party was fun.  In addition to my amazing cake pops, we brought the requisite lil'smokies wrapped in crescent rolls.  Our friends, the Reillys, did an amazing job hosting.  There was even a separate kid snack and drink table.  The game may not have been all that spectacular and the half time show was boring, but the kids all had a great time and were really well behaved.  Eileen was an eating fiend.  I think she out ate every adult and was not pleased any time that mama tried to curb the food fest.  If you want to see a sad, crying, baby tell her she can't have anymore cake pops and lil' smokies.  Eileen eventually was distracted by the playroom, but found time for a quiet raisin date with Connor.

In short, it was just your average, full, very epic, Dimock Family weekend.